All Serenity Sees
by elisheva
Summary: Various situations Serenity witnesses.
1. Makin' Dinner

**Characters borrowed. Story mine.**

He was alone in a space in cargo hold as he finished his last set of weighs. At least he thought he was alone.

Jayne Cobb had closed his eyes from effort as he pushed his body past its breathing point to help clear his mind. On the last push up he felt a feathering touch on his right knuckles. Opening his clear blue eyes he found wide brown ones staring back at him, long dark hair hitting his hand.

Jayne bolted up, hitting his head on the bar above him in the process. "Gorramit!" he swore. "What in the name of all that's black you doin'?"

River Tam tilted her head slightly and offered him a small smile. "Watching." Then quietly as she came she glided back up the metal stairs.

Jayne growled as he rubbed his head and stood to follow the girl, his boots booming noticeably while her bare feet barely toughed the floor.

Jayne found Mal Reynolds arguing heatedly with Inara, the former companion, in the mess area. The arrival of the girl pilot and the big merc caused both people to stop their words to see what was going on.

"Cap'n, gotta put a gorram bell on this feng le girl. Ain't natural how quiet she sneaks up on a man."

The girl in question pirouetted in front of Jayne. "Consumed in thought. It is no fault of mine your mind incapably interpreted the announcement if my arrival."

Jayne scowled deeper, crossing his arms over his shirt. "Damn right creepyifing the way you stare."

River just smiled and floated away from the table.

Jayne looked at the frowning captain. "Well?"

"Ain't it your turn for chow?" grumped Mal, glancing toward the sulking companion.

Inara stood suddenly. "Excuse me," she said frostily and left the room.

Jayne pointedly ignored her. "What you goin' to do 'bout the prancin' Crazy?"

Mall stood, intent on finishing his point with Inara. He clasped Jayne on his broad shoulder. "Seems you are handlin' it. Now, get to cookin', dong ma."

Jayne muttered several choice swear words before moving towards the storage pantry to see his choices for the gruel. He curled his lip at the lack of variety. They had been in the black too long and seriously needed to replenish their stores.

"A menagerie of animals but none of house cat variety," said the whispery voice of River by his elbow.

He glanced down at her with knitted eyebrows. "Huh?"

"A bell around one's neck is indicative of a domestic feline, one of which is not placed among our wayward family."

"You comparin' us to animals?" Jayne asked, trying to follow River's jumpy train of thought. Since Miranda she had been saner as a whole but her jumbled mind still worked in mysterious ways when forming conversation.

"Precisely," she beamed, twirling on one foot, her long messy hair fanning Jayne's side.

He grunted, then tried to think of something decent to make with the protein mush but the wide brown eyes staring once again was too much of a distraction. God, he knew he was going to regret this. "Why?"

Sweet Buddha, she looked pleased that he asked. "Kingdom Animalia contain Homo sapiens based on common characteristics when brought to the basest instincts, kingdoms from Earth-that-was hyperlink all creatures of the world and even core literature have all spanning from one."

"Huh," was the only response as he started to ignore the babbling to focus on more important matters, food.

"You are grumbly _Ursus arctos_, fiercely protective of what is yours. Flighty happy Kaylee _Danaus plexippus_ of the sky. Bumbling boob Simon _Papio papio_. Beautiful Inara _Pavo cristatus_. Zoe a crouching _Puma concolor coryi_. Captain Daddy the King of the jungle, _Panthera leo_."

Jayne's blue eyes pierced down at her. "Listen, Moony, I do occasionally try to keep up with your spewing madness but ya gotta help me out an' dumb it down."

River shook her head and pushed her hair back, frowning slightly. "Not dumb but simplification is warranted. Bear. Butterfly. Baboon. Peafowl. Panther. Lion. Animals that were from a time that's long past."

"Bear, huh? Guess I can live with that. Heard tell of a small bird that glittered as it danced from flower to flower, taking only sweet things. Hummingbird." River was looking at him expectantly to come to his point. "Ya didn't name nothin' for you and I just thought--" Jayne broke off, face turning red as he realized he had given the girl a compliment. He stuck his head back into the pantry. "Gotta fix food. Go 'way."

Instead, the happy River threw her skinny arms around his waist before using her grace to hop onto the counter space to watch the burly man work.

Jayne frowned over at River, who was humming as she kicked her bare feet into the air. "What part of 'go 'way' do you not understand?"

She poked out her lower lip. "Want to help."

He barked out a laugh. "Got a long memory, girlie, and I ain't hit that far of stupid yet."

Her brown eyes were wide on his again. "I can stir the bowl."

Strangely enough an image of himself as a boy begging to stir his ma's recipe had him diving into the pantry to find out if he could make the protein work as flapjacks.

He came out with his hands full grinning. But what to use for the sweet syrup?

"Old peppermint bark hidden on top shelf," River supplied.

"Stop readin' my gorram mind," he gruffed at her as he reached for and found the package she had reffered him to.

She ignored him like always. "Candy problematic for Captain Daddy's tooth three months back. Too hard to bite but heated will provide sugary syrup you desire."

Jayne threw the bark on what little counter space he had now that the reader was presently in his way. Giving in, he shoved the big bowl in her hands and guessed at the measurements of ingredients while River held the bowl still for him, happily humming again, stirring with the spoon he handed her.

Once he was satisfied with the mix and the hot plate he even allowed the girl to spoon out the batter, rolling his eyes as she made shapes of the various animals she had previously discussed.

Dinner was a high success and the crew scarfed down the food before the syrup had time to cool and harden.

"This is actually good," Simon said from his seat next to Kaylee.

Jayne grunted behind his huge bite of syrup drizzled cake. "Your sister gave me the idea."

"Helped too," she supplied, sitting to the left of the cook.

Simon looked surprised, glancing at the big merc before smiling. "That's great, mei-mei!"

Mal snorted. "Couldn't get the big guy to properly make circles?"

"Circumvented mixture does not properly stretch mental capacity and therefore is non-excisable."

Mal's eyes knitted in confusion. "You lost me, Li'l Albatross."

Jayne snorted. "She wanted ta make animal shapes 'coz the regular way was borin'."

River nodded. "Exactly, Big Bear."

Jayne flushed as the crew looked at him. "Pass the syrup," he muttered, forking his last bite.


	2. Cleanin' Guns

**Characters not mine! Brainstorm is.**

River Tam clutched her notebook to her as she exited her room where she had been using the downtime to draw. She was minding her own business until her brother and Kaylee entered his room next to hers. The noise, both audible and mental, had poor River confused and frustrated. Plus, it was her brother! She had to escape.

The cargo hold held no one and was silent. She sat down gingerly on a crate they were shipping for a customer. She poised her hand to finish the outline of the Firefly she was pilot of, Serenity. But when she tried to picture the ship her head got bombarded with all thoughts on the ship.

River had worked hard since the disaster on Miranda. She had been concentrating more recently on building up a mental wall to stop reading her crew's minds but when she tried to relax her body, her mind wanted to do the same.

--he is such a jerk, I can't believe--

--feels good. Don't stop--

--love her. How do I--

--she's mad at me. Again. How come I can never--

--remember how he would hold me at night. Hope I never forget--

--clean Vera next so's she don't feel left out--

River hopped up, pencil in one hand, notebook in the other and scampered up the stairs to the mess area where she knew Jayne would be.

* * *

Jayne Cobb always prided himself in being a simple man with simple needs. Food, shelter, money, guns.

Currently he had all of those covered but due to the fact that they were a day away from their destination and given their perchance to having trouble on pickups _and_ drops Jayne liked to be prepared. Mal was letting his defenses down since the pickup was so smooth but Jayne wouldn't be fooled. And he figured cleaning his guns would be a good choice.

He was gently cleaning Vera, his very favorite gun, when he heard clomping down corridor. "Great," he muttered. That's all he needed, that feng le girl coming in here with all his weaponry out.

Although he had learned weaponry was not necessarily a requirement for Moon-brain to whup up on a man.

And Mal trusted her with piloting the ship.

When she finally entered the room he didn't acknowledge her. She, in turn, ignored him as she crossed over to the chair they had bolted into a corner of the room after Inara had decided the ship needed to be more homelike.

River shucked her boots and folded her legs underneath her lithe body. In her parents house the children weren't allowed to sit in the adult chairs and, while seated, were certainly not to put their feet on it. River shook her head to clear the thought.

Jayne had been watching her since she had entered the room. "You talkin' to your invisible pal?"

She looked at him. "A physical response to try to clear the mind though very ineffective as the act of any physical tangible has nothing at all to do with the mental synapses of the brain's neurons."

Jayne raised his eyebrows. "Ri-i-ight. What are ya doin' here?"

She held up her pad. "Placing pencil to paper."

Jayne grunted and turned back around to continue with his guns.

The two were in their own world and had a comfortable silence between then for nearly an hour. Jayne was looking down the barrel of Gloria to make sure it she was all shiny when a small but shrill shriek came from near him. He nearly dropped the gun, which would have made his polishing pointless. He looked to the girl who had made the noise. "What the hell's wrong with ya?"

"Much emotion...sleep haunted. Holds on to his pillow but the fabric is losing his scent." River looked up at the merc, pale and shaky. "She lets go."

Jayne grunted once more and turned to put his girl back together. "Leave her be, Girlie. Ain't none of our concern."

In a fluid movement she placed herself in the seat right in front of Jayne. She looked washed out. "Can't be helped. Her thoughts are projected."

"Her thoughts ain't for the likes of ya." Before he could second guess himself he took a gun from his right, ejected the magazine and handed it across to the girl before pushing an unused cloth and the tin towards the middle of the table.

River looked at the proffered gun, turning it in her hand in wonder. "No history," she said, softly.

Jayne completed putting Gloria together, not looking up from his task. "Got her from Theon couple of days ago."

"Pretty." She was enthralled. She focused her eyes back on the lowered head of the mercenary. "What's her name?"

His blue eyes found hers. "Ain't named her yet. Wanna give it a try?"

River's eyes widened. "You wish me to baptize her?"

"Bap-what? Said you can come up with an appropriate name for her. Iffn I like it I'll call her it."

She took her prize and slowly took her apart as Jayne did the same thing to Lindy on his side of the table. River recognized what Jayne was doing- distracting her from the bombarding thoughts of the warrior Zoe? Before the Miranda incident Jayne would have been the one holding her down to help Simon administer a medication that would make cognitive thinking impossible. She wasn't sure how to thank him for giving it more effort so she put all her concentration into the naming of the gun and tried her best to block out everything else.

She took her time. Although the gun was in pristine shape she had been entrusted to make sure the gun never failed when fired.

"Amina," she spoke out of the blue.

Jayne was startled out of his zone. "'Cuse me?"

She looked up at him. "Amina. Her name. Meaning trustworthy." She turned her head slightly, eyes on his. "Appropriate name for one who thinks guns are more reliable than people.

Jayne lifted an eyebrow. "Amina, huh. Guess that'll do."

She was pleased and began putting the weapon back together. She held up Amina to see that everything was aligned, closing one eye in concentration.

Simon and Kaylee chose that time to make an appearance and their shouts made both Jayne and River jump straight out of their seats.

"River! Put the gun down!"

Jayne had to stop his urge to point his unloaded gun at the doc's head. "What the gorram hell, you thinkin', yellin' like that?"

Simon looked at his sister, saw she was cognitive then flushed as he looked back at the merc. "I thought...I mean..."

Jayne rolled his eyes and sat back down. "You realized iffn she was aiming to kill you'd been cleaning up brains from that wall. _Never_ yell if either one of us has a gun _again_. Dong ma?"

Kaylee walked slowly to River. "Mei-mei, you look upset. How about you hand me the weapon."

River did look slightly startled but cradled the gun to her chest.

"For cryin' out loud. I let her clean the gun. It's not even loaded."

"Even so," Simon started.

River's eyes grew shiny with tears. "Even own brother not trusting." She shoved Amina at Jayne then ran out of the room.

Jayne glared at the doctor. "Way to go. She's right. You really are a boob." Then he gingerly picked up all his things and departed as well.

Kaylee and Simon looked at each other. She spoke first. "Maybe we did overreact."

"Perhaps." He sighed. "I'm going to go find her and apologize."


	3. Remembering

Zoe Washburne felt it had been years since she had last smiled, much less laughed. In actuality it had been a few months. A few _long_ months. 

Sometimes she would forget. She would wake up and for a few precious moments she would think Wash was still alive. And she was unbelievably happy.

But the happiness faded when reality hit. Hoban Washburne was gone- departed from this plane River was fond of saying, though she was usually describing some _hundan_ who tried to cross of double-cross them.

There was nothing in her life before or since that could compare to how she felt when she saw her husband in the cockpit after that rough crash landing. Zoe knew that if Jayne had not grabbed her and forced her backwards she would have gladly been the one who faced off against the Reavers. Zoe knew what the outcome of the fight would have been. But she didn't care- she had wanted to die, had wanted to end the horrible emptiness that had quickly found its way into her still beating heart.

She wanted to bury her head in the proverbial sand and only reemerge when the pain had faded. Life, however, had a tricky way of making one participate whether she wanted to or not. Life went on. Without Wash.

At first she had thought...hoped...but this morning a familiar cramp threatened to bring her down and her hope was shattered.

Zoe had not realized how much she had wanted to carry Wash's child until the bubble popped.

Despondent, she let herself fall back on their- her bed and she curled up her body to face his side. "I miss you. The hurt is supposed to go away after time. But I love you and that will never change."

She gathered his pillow to her as she had done since the first time she slept without him. Face wet with her falling tears, she buried her nose into the pillowcase to find no trace of him what-so-ever. All she had now were memories. Memories that would fade in the years.

Allowing the grief to finally surface she succumbed to the tears for the first time since the accident. Her healing process had begun.


	4. River's Choice

**AN: Nothing has changed since the first page on ownership. Unfortunately...**

Simon Tam's good day was going to hell. Fast. First, his sister...

"I want to do my part," she said, stubbornly.

"You are, mei-mei. You are the pilot of the ship."

Rover crossed her arms and poked out her lower lip. "You mean I am on the ship, carefully watched by you."

He sighed, wishing this conversation was more private than the mess area. "I only want to keep you safe."

"You want to control, keep the package pristine and pretty to look at but not touch. The paper is crinkled, Simon, and the bow askew. The name tag long gone. It has been shipped and you can no longer call it back."

"River--" he tried to plead but she interrupted him.

"Am grown now. Eighteen and a woman. I will do what is asked of me and if Captain Daddy needs me on missions I will go with or without your approval."

Jayne looked at her with interest. "Who's gettin' a present?"

Simon ignored the mercenary. "Could you help me out, Mal?"

Captain Malcolm Reynolds had been watching the argument unfold and finding it hard not to laugh as the stick of a girl put her wimpy brother in his place. He rubbed his chin in thought. "Well, now, she is a reader."

The captain as well, then. Simon threw his hands up ion exasperation. "She's just a girl."

River bristled. "Woman," she snapped.

Jayne, in his seat next to the pissed reader, leaned forward slightly. "Given our luck to findin' trouble, havin' an extra gun won't hurt none."

It was Simon's turn to snap. "No one asked you, Monkey boy."

Jayne glared at the doctor. "Come over here and say that, ya big pansy, and I'll stomp your gorram ass so far up, your mouth will be your--"

"Jayne!" Mal interrupted.

"What?!"

Mal smirked down the table at him. "I think we get the graphic picture. Doc, you just lucky Jayne's feelin' lazy today."

Simon rolled his eyes. "Can we get back to the matter at hand? River, I don't want you to go."

She jutted her chin in the air. "I don't care."

"You could get hurt, mei-mei."

"I don't care," she said in a singsong voice.

"You could get killed."

She stood suddenly, causing Jayne to flinch beside her. Leaning on her hands on the table she punctuated every word. "I. Don't. Care."

Simon had to force his jaw closed. "You don't care? I did not rescue you from the school so you can run around trying to commit suicide."

"No, Simon. You rescued me from the Blue Hands so that I might have a life and be able to make my own decisions. You had to be the one for a while but most days I feel like one whole piece of River- not fragmented."

"But, River, I worry. You could die."

"'Do I risk to earn a chance to live?' Benefits outweigh the risks, Simon Tam."

"Not to me--"

River interrupted again. "Not your choice to make. Vote. Captain Daddy?"

"What?" he asked, startled out of his own world.

Simon rolled his eyes. "River, this is stupid."

She snapped her head around to bore her eyes at her brother's head.. "Not stupid. Smart democratic way. Way of America on Earth-that-was."

"There is a reason why that is past tense," he attempted to tell her.

"Captain Daddy, vote. River stays on ship or goes with you."

Mal hoped she hadn't reverted back to third person but he gave his vote. "Go with me."

She nodded and held up one finger on her extended hand. "Zoe?"

The stoic woman looked into River's eyes. "Stay. Our losses have already been too much. I'm sorry."

She gave the quiet woman a small smile. "Understandable. Simon, we know your vote." She raised two fingers on her other hand. "Kaylee?"

Kaylee looked nervously between the siblings. "Stay," she finally said. "Simon will be a nervous wreck and I ain't wantin' something bad to happen."

Inara spoke next. "I think you should have a right to choose. No man should tell you what to do. Use my vote towards your choice."

River added two fingers to the 'go' hand for Inara and herself. Then turned to the last person to make his choice known.

Jayne looked up at the coherent girl and thought for a moment, weighing both options and how it would pertain to him. Finally he gave his answer. "Go."

Simon exploded. "What? You just did that because you know I wanted her to stay on-board, you selfish idiot. You don't trust her and you probably want her to go so she'll be eliminated."

River made a sound of protest while Jayne narrowed his eyes. "Think you are confusing my feelin's for you with the girl. She may be crazy but she's sure in a gunfight. Kaylee, you need to keep your doctor reigned in or there ain't gonna be 'nough pieces to love."

Simon ignored the burly man and looked at River, resigned. "Are you sure, mei-mei?"

She nodded. "Sure. My choice, Simon. I choose to go."

He sighed. "Fine. But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

She made her way to his side to show she was happy with a hug.


	5. Fight Pt I

Oh, the conversation started innocently enough. 

"'Lo, 'Nara," he greeted, almost cheerfully as he checked the wares to see about a snack.

Inara, who was in there to tea and was, quite honestly used to ignoring, Mal, was startled at the words. "Good afternoon, Captain."

He looked up at her in surprise. "Is it? I hadn't even noticed to tell the truth but I guess ya have to."

She stopped her motions to stare at him. "What do you mean?"

He looked confused. "Don't ya get paid by the hour?"

Inara was so incensed that she threw the delicate cup at Mal, missing him by inches, pieces shattering all over the mess hold. "I'll have you know that I have never charged by the hour in all my years of service but I will start by charging you."

He held his hands up. "I ain't a man needin' pay a lay, darlin'. Ain't likely to start with you."

"I was referring to the 'services' I offer you and the crew around the ship. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to wash up. I feel dirty from our encounter."

She was nearly out of the room when he came up with a comeback. "Nope, must be the stench from your thousand customers."

She balled up her fist so that there were crescent shaped indentions in her palms. One appeared to have broke the skin.

Inside her shuttle she took a look around the vessel that had been her home for so long. She blinked her eyes until the tears no longer threatened to fall and tried to think rationally.

Why didn't he seem to understand? Didn't he know she gave up that life for him? For the crew. Those months she was away at the Academy was torture on her brain and then the fight...she almost lost him. And the big dumb oaf he was she loved him.

"Idiot," she muttered out loud and it made her feel better. Marginally.

Her mind was racing and her hands were still shaking so she used her energy to straighten her shuttle.

* * *

Mal was cursing himself. Every time he tried or, hell, even didn't try he was always saying the wrong thing to 'Nara. And it always put him in a pisser of a mood.

He found himself in the cockpit of his baby in the co-pilot seat glaring at his pilot. "What's ETA?" he growled.

River hardly batted an eye. "8 hours, 17 minutes, 29 seconds," she rattled off matter-of-factly.

"Gorramit! Are we actually flying or is this Firefly just sittin' in space?"

She gave him a withering look. "Asinine question."

He sat up straight. "What did you call me?"

River rolled her eyes. "Time is good. I was able to shave off two hours but we can not get there faster unless you can teach the genius how to fly through solid body masses."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You tryin' to be funny?"

River turned in her chair to look at him. "I am not the easy target to rage against, Captain Daddy. Perhaps you should go apologize before she solidly formulates to leave."

"Don't know what you are talkin' 'bout, girl."

She shrugged. "Then perhaps you should seek Jayne to battle old-fashionedly."

Mal straightened quickly once more. "Hits me an' he's in the airlock faster than he can make 'nother fist."

The pilot sighed and turned back to the black. The stars made more sense in their evitable than the capricious captain did at that moment.

He stood. "An' clean those toys up," he snarled. "Sweet Buddha, the man is dead. We don't need no gorram shrine."

River winced but said nothing as Mal looked into the hallway to see his mistake.

"Zoe," he weakly greeted his first mate.

The tall woman looked at him void emotion. "Sir." She moved aside and he gratefully left without another word. She then slid into the seat he abandoned.

"Not shrine," River offered. "Memories, learning tools. Objects that still speak to us."

Zoe nodded, taking one of the dinosaurs in her hands, turning it about. "Another fight with Inara?"

River nodded. "She considers leaving."

"She won't." Zoe looked from the reptile to River. "Thank you for keeping them dusted."

River gave a rare smile. "They begged to be played with."

Zoe gave her a small smile back.

* * *

Mal had a strong suspicion that the little witch warned Jayne to say below deck. He looked in the last place besides his room, the weighs, and found himself in front of 'Nara's door. He nearly opened the door to barge in but at the last second his one functioning brain cell stopped him and he found he was waiting to be invited in after he clearly knocked.

"Come in!" he heard muffled and he opened the shuttle door to find Inara in the middle of the fabric mess, she was clearly surprised at who it was she admitted. "You knocked!"

He chose to ignore her and do with he did best- make assumptions. "Albatross said you were leavin'. That it then?"

"Mal--"

"No, I will have my say, 'Nara."

She put the books in her arms down to cross them over her chest. "Of course. Proceed."

He looked slightly uncomfortable now. "Um, well, see it's like this, 'Nara. Our family's broken an' iffn we break anymore I don't think we can get right 'gain."

"Mal," she said, softly. "You know there isn't a way for us to go to where we were. Zoe is always going to have a hole where Wash used to be. Book will always be missing."

He slumped his shoulders. "What can I do?"

She smiled and walked up to him. "We will never be the same, Mal, but we can evolve. Our family has some missing members but they're always going to be remembered as long as the remaining family tried to make it through the struggle together."

Mal looked down at her dark eyes. "'Nara, I'm a fool--"

She laughed. "I know. I've always known. And I'm a fool to think I can change you."

He grinned at her. "You gave a pretty speech. That mean you ain't leavin'?"

"Never seriously considered it."

Mall knitted his brows and looked around. "But, what's this?"

Her was a wicked smile. "I was redecorating. I think Serenity as a whole needs more color."

Mal's groan made her think it was a wonderful idea.


	6. Relaxation

Of course the drop wasn't uncomplicated. It wouldn't have been a drop for this particular ship if it was anything but complicated. _But_, there was no damage collateral- or body-wise so the crew found themselves celebrating in a bumping pub. 

Jayne had decided to sit at the bar, using the fact that their table was crowded to get away for a moment. He was working on his second grog when he got a whiff of clean flowers and turned slightly to see Crazy hop up on the stool to his right, smiling at him.

He rolled his eyes. "All the gorram places for ya to sit an' ya sit by me? What iffn I was looking for some trim?"

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "You aren't." She reached for his drink and sniffed it.

"An' stop readin' my damn mind!"

She took the drink and had a sip, grimacing at the bitter taste.

He snatched his drink back. "An' get your own damn drink."

"Too yucky."

"Listen, Girlie, anyone using words like 'yucky' don't need to be a-drinkin'."

She squared her chin. "Am of age. Want to try something of my own."

Jayne snorted and took a healthy drink of his own, finishing it in one gulp then motioning towards the barkeep. "Same for me and a rumdrop for the girl."

Once the drinks had been deposited, River once again sniffed at it cautiously before taking a small sip and swirling it around in her mouth. She was pleasantly pleased at the sharp yet semi-sweet drink that was, by definition, her very own.

Not much to her surprise Jayne began to frown again. "Got your drink. Now git."

River took a deeper drink before answering. "Simple scientific equation states no solid mass may occupy a space taken up by another solid mass whether it is standing, sitting, or just being. Therefore, an area occupied by solidity plus one tends to be unnecessary, uncomfortable, and unrealistic. Choosing other appropriate seating arrangements seemed to be in order. This stool had the highest probable statistic value to center said body mass enjoyably."

"Yeah, whatever," Jayne mutters. "Just drink your drink and quit your yappin'."

River complied for the moment, enjoying the drink through the plastic tube and kicking her feet against the bar since her legs did not quite reach the lowest bar on the stool. Jayne hadn't spoke to her directly since he issued the 'silence' order but he did pay at least some attention since he grabbed the bartender each time her drink was low.

River had never partaken in alcoholic beverages but she was interested in the fuzziness it caused her brain to feel as she finished her third drink. She found voices were not bombarding her and she rather liked the quietness surrounding her.

Except the music. She turned her head and noted some musicians- two guitarists and a fiddle player- playing near them, kicking up a lively tune. She patted Jayne's arm. "Want to dance?"

He jumped at her touch and looked down. "What?"

"Dance?"

"Uh, no."

She plucked at his light sleeve. "I would be fun."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

She frowned. "Is it because you don't know _how_ to dance?"

He snorted. "I know how to ruttin' dance. Just don't wanna."

"I do," she reasoned.

"Then find somebody to dance with. Besides me."

She poked her bottom lip out then huffed as she turned on the stool to look out around the bar at the rest of the clientele. Most left something to be desired, which was why she had asked the impossible from her partner. It beat the other options. Her eyes flitted to the crew- Captain Daddy and Inara, Zoe and Kaylee- who seemed to be having a good time. Her brother had stayed with the ship, one of the reasons River felt it ok to drink a glass.

River had nearly decided to dance by herself when she noticed a tall young man walking towards her. He was unremarkable in looks except for the several teeth that were missing from his mouth. River's eyes met his and she shivered suddenly. She turned back around and hoped that he got the hint as she clutched her perspiring drink.

"Give up on your hunt?" Jayne asked, almost amused

"Tables turned, hunted now becomes hunter much to the chagrin of the one who wishes to dance."

Jayne grunted and watched with slight interest as the gangly kid with three teeth sidled next to River on the empty seat.

"Hey, pretty girl. I saw you lookin' at me. Thought I'd give ya a better view."

River took a drink, not bothering to look at the boy to her right. "Not looking at you as much as looking in a general direction. Though I face forward I do not look at the barkeep."

The boy was perplexed. "My name's Henry. Wanna dance?"

"While looking your way I saw nothing of interest," she said in a bored tone.

Henry grabbed onto her elbow. "Come on, then. Let's get outta here."

Jayne was more than slightly amused when he saw the little bit wrench her limb from the dirty boy. The boy was not and pulled her arm back closer to him. "Wouldn't do that iffn I's you, boy," the merc offered as friendly advice.

What he got her his trouble was an insult and a glare from the male in heat. "You stay outta this, Granpa."

Jayne growled under his breath but ignored the kid. As far as he could tell it wasn't his fight. Was his funeral. Still he was compelled to watch the showdown out of the corner of his eye.

River calmly looked at the boy, Henry, from her perch. "You should listen to your elders." Jayne choked on his grog and she nearly smiled but she, instead, kept her attention on the trouble to her side.

Henry sneered. "You gonna make your gramps defend your honor or some _go se_?"

"He is not old enough to be a grandfather nor a relation of mine outside a partnership. You have nothing to fear from him."

Henry smiled at her. "Nice to know."

She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "It's me you should be leery and cautious of."

The boy laughed then twisted her arm in a manner to get her off of the barstool. She obeyed sullenly, getting both feet on the ground. Jayne turned to watch the scene proceed- knowing it would only end one way and the male kid wouldn't be happy with the conclusion.

"Now, come on. I'm not gonna ask you so nicely next time."

She smiled blankly at him, though Jayne perched behind her didn't see it. "No, the first several times have been tedious enough. You will not have a reason to ask again."

The boy turned to lead her out, presenting River the perfect opportunity without even realizing it. The element of surprise worked in River's favor as she jerked her arm back and kicked out a delicate foot enclosed in a black combat boot, hitting the tender spot on the back of his knee. His leg gave out and he plummeted to the bar floor littered with nutshells, liquor, and various body fluids. Jayne didn't bother to hide her laughter so when the boy got to his feet he was flaming red with embarrassment and mad as hell.

He put his finger in River's face. "You askin' for it, Girlie. I'd hate to have to whoop your ass."

She calmly lifted an eyebrow. "Yes, that would be tragic of you to try. Be gone." She then turned and hopped back up to get a drink of rum.

Henry didn't let her finish before he grabbed River by the neck, putting his whole arm around her and yanking her neck with the crook of his arm. Jayne figured that was the reason Moon Brain went psycho. He honestly couldn't blame her.

She took the glass in her hand and reached behind her to shatter it on the boy's head. retaining the biggest piece in her hand to slash at the arm binding her. Once she cleared the stool. she kicked back, reminding Jayne of a mule at the farm.

Between the cutting, kicking, and bleeding, River managed to wiggle out of Henry's hold and whipped quickly around, broken glass in hand, blood that wasn't her getting in her eyes. She slowly circled around and he was forced to turn to keep his eye on her.

"Come on, bitch. Show me what you got."

River's eyebrows quirked up in a brief show of amusement before twirling in a tight circle to kick his extended hands, barely getting away as he attempted to catch her limb.

As entranced as Jayne was with the battle he was aware of the older man sidling next to him at the bar.

"Fast ain't she," he commented.

"Can be," Jayne offered as he finished his drink.

"Care for a friendly wager?"

Jayne glanced at the man to see he was actually serious. "You think the girl can win?"

The man laughed. "Sweet Buddha, no! I'd never bet 'gainst my boy."

The merc crossed his arms on his chest as he watched River skirt away from the boy's quick punch. She then took her fist and threw one at his nose, glass still in hand, landing a good punch- enough for blood, although that could have come from a glass-induced cut. He snorted. "You on. I'm backing the girl."

As if she heard him she looked up and gave him a dazzling grin. Or read his mind. Gorramit, _he_ was going to pop the girl if she didn't respect his privacy.

River didn't so much hear what Jayne said as much as felt the proud he exulted when she landed a punch to that boy, Henry. Because of that, the boy was able to land a decent hit to her cheek. She didn't really feel the pain yet as her rage took over. She was barely aware as she clenched her fist, cutting it deep on the glass. She was highly aware that she could kill this boy in front of her. His carotid artery was easy access for her and with the glass it would be easy to let him bleed out. His facial bones could shoved forcefully into his cranium.

But she didn't want to be that monster. The past several months she had become more aware of the human she was- any characteristic that would make her different from the killing machine that Blue Hands tried to turn her into. Intellectually she understood that this boy was not deserving of death. He was not in league with the Blue Hands- too dumb. Not in league with the Reavers- too...well, minimally smarter than them. No, he didn't deserve to die...but the things he imagined doing to her against her own will. For that he did deserve to be punished. So, she let a little of herself go. To give in to that finely turned machine that was taught to fight. Because she _refused_ to give in to a _hundan_, to give up her virtue just because he would her pretty and a bit of a challenge.

Unaware of her surroundings she gave a swift kick to the stomach of the boy, Henry, and felt some pleasure as he doubled over in pain. "I don't wish to hurt you," she told him softly.

He snarled at her, blood dripping freely. "Hurt me? We'll see." He then attacked her with a sloppy maneuver.

River had time to roll her eyes before landing a well-placed kick in an uncomfortable place, twirling behind him when he was brought to his knees. The glass she was holding came in handy as she placed it against the artery she had been admiring before.

Jayne smirked at the man next to him. "Guess you own me."

"Don't owe you nothin'," the man stated and threw a punch to Jayne's head. As if that was the cue the people of the bar began brawling, falling onto Jayne and River before the other crew members joined in the fray.

River was knocking cold her third attacker when she felt a hand on her elbow. She moved to hit the person when she realized it was Mal and stopped just in time.

"Get to the exit and go to the ship," he ordered.

She kicked out to trip another patron. "I can help."

"Go to Serenity, Lil Albatross. No arguin'."

"The others?"

"As soon as we can escape."

She took one look around to see Jayne fell a guy with a stool and Zoe stun a piece of trim. Then River ducked under a pair of arms and ran for the ship.

Simon was beside himself at all the blood covering his sister. Finally convincing him that most wasn't hers she sat back and allowed him to bandage her bleeding hand from her glass weapon. As the others stumbled in the infirmary with their various cuts they observed a quiet but widely smiling River looking as happy as could be.


	7. Gettin' Supplies

After the bar incident Mal thought it best if they moved to a_ different_ city to get the much needed supplies before they could go back into the black to land another job. 

Zoe had decided to stay behind on the ship so Mal had a chatty Kaylee in the seat next to him in the Mule. She had been asking for replacement parts for his baby for awhile and with this last payoff he decided to indulge her a little. She never asked for much. He even smiled a little at her happy talking. The armed Jayne and the not so armed River were in the back seat silent and hanging on for dear life as Mal rolled over the rocks and hills that peppered the countryside.

Kaylee clapped her hands and turned to face River. "If we see a clothes shop we can see what kind of shiny dresses they have!"

Mal made a noise of protest. "We ain't turning this into a big shopping spree."

She tried to wipe the smile from her face without success. "I know, Cap'n. But iffn we pass one..."

They made it to their destination in record time considering the terrain. The first place they stopped was the yard on the outskirts of town. Mal looked around the metal piles. "You goin' to be ok, Kaylee-girl?"

She beamed at him. "Sure thing. This is my thing."

"Ok, then we are going to get stocks."

"Oh," Kaylee said, sticking her hand out to touch River's arm. "Stay with me, River? We finish early 'nough we can look 'round?"

Seeing her barely masked excitement, River nodded slowly. "I could be of some help."

Mal looked at Jayne. "We'll be back shortly. Come on, Jayne."

* * *

Kaylee and River made short work of the man in change of selling the ship parts. His thoughts when he saw the women were that he could sale them so-so parts at a good profit, but he her ship and River's ability to be an asset despite her diminutive stature. Not to mention her Reader skills.

"I could sell that piece right there in your hand for 800," he said.

Kaylee frowned. "It ain't worth three."

River watched them intently, her eyes showing nothing.

"That piece is good hardware."

Kaylee jutted her chin. "I ain't payin' more than 300."

"I can't sell it for less than 500."

Finally River spoke up. "Your boss says you can sell this for as low as 200 to get it off the lot."

"How did you--?"

"The newer piece you can get for 300 is behind that," she told Kaylee, pointing to their left.

"I'll take it," Kaylee told the man, going to dig for her newly acquired part.

"Now, wait just a minute..."

Kaylee came out with her part and a prize. She looked at River. "How much?"

The man protested. "I run this shop."

River ignored him. "150."

Kaylee put both parts in her bag before finally addressing the man. "Do you have any power converters?"

* * *

Mal had given the store merchant his list of supplies and was finally finished haggling prices with him. Now as he waited for his order to be filled he looked around to find his heavy. He finally located him in the weapons area looking at guns- surprise, surprise, thought Mal. "Don't ya think you have enough handguns, Jayne?"

The big man was turning one over in his hand, extending it to check the line. "Ain't for me."

That made Mal Reynolds pause. "Since when you buy for other than yourself? You goin' soft on me?"

"Ain't soft to assure backup, Cap'n." He pulled back the clip then tested the grip.

Mal leaned against the glass counter and raised an eyebrow. "Who you givin' backup to?"

Jayne snorted. "To me."

"Answer the question. Who's the gun for?"

Jayne cleared his throat and muttered something.

His captain was not amused. "You just say what I thought you said?"

Belligerent to a fault, Jayne squared his shoulders. "How's I suppose to know what you think you heard?"

"Jayne Cobb, we had an understandin'. No weapons of any kind given to the crazy girl. Period."

"She ain't that crazy. 'Sides got weapons with her hands an' feet. Wanna chop them off her?"

Mal's frown deepened and he tapped his feet with impatience. "Don't need none of your smart mouth, Cobb."

"Look, Cap'n, it's like this. I hold the gun 'til we are at the ren-day-vous," he said, pronouncing the word exactly how it was spelled. "That way iffn she goes all psycho'd out she'll shoot the bad guys along with us."

Mal saw the logic in what the merc was trying to say but still didn't like it. "Can't ya give her one of yours 'stead?"

Jayne's head popped up, eyebrows knotted. "Don't like the Moon Brain that much. Gave me her saved coins. Wanted somethin' small and light weight." He turned back to the counter. "I'll take this an' I'm gonna need some mags for it as well."

Mal rolled his eyes but acquiesced. "Need any more rounds?" He rolled his eyes again as Jayne started rattling off a massive list of ammo he needed.

Kaylee and River were walking down the main street looking for the general store when River turned quickly to look behind them. Eyes flitted to each person she saw, nothing out of the ordinary but she still had a tickling in the back of her brain.

"River?" Kaylee asked once she noticed her tiny companion wasn't beside her. "What's wrong?"

"A nefarious plan afoot." She turned back and grabbed the mechanic's arm. "Come. Captain Daddy will need briefing."

Kaylee hurried along in a slightly alarmed state but she didn't want to ask what was happening. She knew it would waste precious time and she hated to draw attention to how dumb and bumpkin she felt next to the eighteen year old genius.

"In here," River insisted and as they entered the store they were temporarily blinded as their eyes adjusted to the dimly lit place of business. As soon as she could, River pushed herself through some people gathered close to a counter and immediately stood on the tip of her toes to try to find the men of Serenity.

Their voices came to River and Kaylee's ears before they found them visually. "We don't ruttin' need those, Jayne."

"Everyone on the crew deserves something special, Mal. 'Sides, little Kaylee asked me to pick the berries up for her."

"Gave you coin?"

"Yeah," Jayne said, sullenly.

"Did some higher being take all the same people on my crew an' replace them with idiots?"

River could hear the frown in the merc's voice. "What's you meanin' 'bout that?"

"Everybody give you coin?"

"'Cept for the doc. What of it?"

"I ain't tryin' to insult you, Jayne, but I find it hard to believe the crew would willingly put you in charge of shoppin'."

"Well, I am insulted. Look, River forgives me for Ariel. What do I have to do to get you to forget?"

Kaylee reached out to tap River's shoulder. "Ariel?" she asked softly.

River shook her head and walked forward to find her captain and the mercenary nose to nose. "Captain Daddy," she said in a clear voice, startling the two men. "We are done and are being followed."

Mal's hand immediately went to his gun. "Who?"

She shook her head. "Unsure. Possible mechanic after bartered parts."

"Keep watch. We're getting ready to go now."

With the help of unorganized Kaylee, they did a decent job cramming the goods into several crates. They were able to get one of the boxes where Kaylee's feet would have been. The other two were in the back where River's place was; one on the floorboard and one on the seat. River, still studying her surroundings, climbed on top of the crate without a word.

Jayne hopped in the other side then reached in to pull out the newly purchased gun, loaded it with a magazine, and handed it to the girl. She turned it over in her hand and smiled at him to show she was pleased.

"Alright, kiddos," Mal said as he started the Mule, "keep a sharp eye. Albatross, hold tight." He turned the vehicle around and put the pedal down as far as it could to get as much distance between them and their followers. However, the Mule loaded up with people and supplies didn't go as fast as its driver wanted it to go. So he was not surprised when only minutes later a warning came.

"Company," River told them merely seconds before the vehicle was seen cresting over a hill. Four heads turned to look.

"Three I can see," Jayne reported.

"A fourth in the back," River shared.

Jayne slid down to grab his stashed gun and slammed ammo in her. "Well, I say it's time to even the odds."

"They sure are comin' fast," Kaylee remarked.

Mal reached over and shoved her. "Stay _down_, Lil Kaylee. Let them concentrate."

Jayne shifted his body so he was facing the approaching vehicle. "Time to try out that gun."

"An opportunity to show off himself."

Jayne raised an eyebrow. "_Him_self?"

She impatiently tossed back her flying hair. "You have girls. I want no girls. The gun is male."

"Ugh. I wouldn't've gotten it iffn I knew that. Gun's beautiful. Ain't never seen a pretty guy."

From up front Kaylee giggled. "Ain't never seen Simon without--"

Mal, to the relief of everyone but the love-struck girl, interrupted. "You think ya might can the talkin' an' get to takin' care of business?"

Jayne rolled his eyes but turned full attention to their visitors. "Just 'bout close enough..."

River found she could kneel behind the seat crate and although it was uncomfortable it offered some sort of protection. She wasn't sure if she heard Jayne counting or got it from his mind but they managed to open fire at the same time, surprising the men. It also made them mad and they fired in return.

She and Jayne ducked behind their crate and seat respectively as they counted the shots popping off.

"Two guns?" he asked.

"Yes. Passenger by the window. Man in the back."

"Right. Let's go." They raised up as if they had practiced and aimed for the two firing at them. They had managed to shatter the glass of the windshield on their first round so when River put the passenger in her sights she knew she had a solid shot. She heard her gun bark and felt the kickback right before she saw her victim's head bounce back and slump.

The shooting had the driver ducked as far down as he could. It wasn't enough. She saw his hand on the steering wheel and aimed for that. Suddenly, the vehicle was veering to a hard left.

Jayne sat up and looked at her. "What the hell just happened?"

"The driver's hand gave a target for his brain."

"Hm. Good shot."

She grinned. "New gun is excellent. We bonded well."

"Yep. Nothin' like a shootin' spree to teach ya a gun's particulars."

River opened her mouth to answer when Mal hit a dip in the terrain and the speed of the Mule tossed the light girl in the air. She tried to get purchase on something but it was all smooth. She prepared for a rough hit to the ground. What she felt was a rough hand tightly around her wrist and she was jerked back into the Mule, slamming into the back of the front seat.

Simon made her wear a makeshift sling- refraining from blasting out Jayne for dislocating her joint only because he saved her from getting more seriously injured.

Once River had the ship on course and her brother was done being a mother hen she went to find Jayne in the kitchen unloading the supplies.

"How's the arm?" he decided to ask.

"I will be fine." She walked right up to him, looking up.

He was unnerved. "Help you?"

"Thank you."

Jayne flushed. "Outta habit's all," he said, gruffly.

"Called me by my given name although not face-to-face. Thank you." Then she reached as high as she could to give him a kiss on his scruffy cheek.

He screwed his face up in a grimace, wiping his cheek off. "What you doin'? I ain't bein' ejected to the black for the likes of ya!"

River just whirled around and left to check with Mal about their destination.


	8. Crazy Day Pt 1

**AN: Just a reminder that the characters are NOT mine but the story tends to belong to me with just a little prompt from my friends.**

River Tam woke up with a screaming headache and wanted to scream along with it. Voices inside her head led her on the path of confusion and the feeling of paranoia. She scrambled out of bed and placed her back in a corner, feeling a little more protected. Pain made her want to lash out but lack of subjects had her grab fists full of her long, dark hair and yank hard. The only thing it seemed to do was make the throbbing worse.

She had started rocking back and forth when her door opened. She sat real still, trying to blend in while she watched someone that should be familiar through the curtain of her hair. His thoughts mixed with all the others in a conglomeration of ideas.

"Mei-mei?" she heard him say as he cautiously approached her.

The sentences she formed in her head came out fragmented and discombobulated. "Away! Gone!"

He opened his mouth but his words were muffled to her ears and she focused on the word 'medicine' and the vision he was projecting of a needle to place into her skin.

She jumped to her feet, prepared to defend herself. "No more shots. Head unfixable. Broken, lying in ruins. Walls made of glass shatter under pressure."

He out his hands up and took another step towards her.

She shrieked, startling him into a halt. "Untrustworthy! Blue hands white with effort not to be fooled for girl." In a swift movement she kicked out, bare foot hitting his mid-abdominal area and ran out of her room- leaving her would-be doctor hunched over.

The hallway felt cool to her feet as she let them lead the way for her escape. She must be free. Once she had found her way out her skull would subside.

She heard a sound and placed herself flat against the metal wall enclosing her. No door seemed helpful as she figured out she was on a dorm wing. Getting trapped in a bunker would not end pretty. For her attacker.

Big grunt too slow to be a doctor came around the bend, stopping as he spied her. Possible bounty hunter though her brain tugged at a memory. Irrational thoughts had no place within her capacity.

"Watcha doin', lookin' all crazy-like?" His voice boomed in her head and it took effort to not show weakness to the brute.

"Nothing," she forced out. "Stop me?"

He backed up, hands in air as surrender. "You the crazy. Not me. Ain't forgot the bruise you gave the boys or that you can kill with your brain."

Smarter than looks. "Not crazy. Am highly trained, gifted Read with astronomic potential to absorb knowledge. Graceful talented girl disguised as an assassin with an irrational yet understandable chromatochiric and nosocomephobia."

"Uh, right." He looked more than a little confused she thought and wanted to laugh.

"River?" came a voice from where she had been.

Her eyes cut to the big man and narrowed. "Escape imamate. Trouble not advisable."

"I ain't stoppin' ya. An' I sure ain't helpin' your pansy-ass brother."

She paused. "Sibling rivalry eclipses when jealousy overtakes decision making. Medicinal achievements shadowed by academic scoring of the young." She sidled past him and silently turned the bend to disappear from the meds.

She entered a door to find herself in the cockpit, confirming her belief that she was trapped. She glanced at the coordinates programmed into the auto pilot and recognized the pattern as her own. If only her head aching would not deter her cognitive abilities leaving her in such a state of perplex mystification.

Boots behind not unlike her brother's though heavier. She turned to see the man enter the room. She waited cautiously poised to run if need be.

"Hey there, Lil Albatross," he said to her. "Everything all right?"

"A burden on a ship trying to decamp to find a nest to have comfort in. Around the neck chain released a vision marking true."

"Um, ok." He glanced at the control board and at her hands as if expecting a weapon. No external weapon needed with such power-driven emotional extremities that speak for themselves.

"Too long a stay the fox falls in the trap."

He also looked confused. She thought he a simple creature. "Are ya sayin' you a fox?"

"Sly, devious, cunning, and brave, the fox wanders with purpose and survives on will. Wild and free, Earth-that-was held no boundaries on nature though stunted by human growth. Migrant and adaptable the _vulpes vulpes_ culture thrives on various planetary forms."

She took one last look at the controls, approving of her ethereal doings and slid past who she recognized as a captain-y being to go back into the hall to try to get her bearings.

Tables, chairs, dining area with kitchenette. The smell of oil, a hint of grease.

"Hey, ya, Riv," came a bouncy voice.

She turned her head to the table. "A precipice in front, wolves behind."

She didn't remember how she came to the metal stairs. She went down to her knees to study the texture of the flooring. The design was not unlike pairs of ridged lips as if to kiss the foot that touched it in its proper form. A sound...imagined? real?...had her swiftly fleeing down the stairs in search of a friendly place to hide.

She shivered as she slumped behind a box, shielding her from all who looked over the area. Flashed of light even when her eyes were closed did not bode well for her mind. Different colors for the numerous beings inhabiting the ship that not all could see. Sounds crashing in overlapping the colors made even sight hard as her eyes watered from the effort.

Something caught her attention and her mind leapt in a sense of relief as silence became near proximity. Upon her feet, she scampered to the wall and fingered the button winking at her, highlighted by the lights that made her head pulse sharply. She smiled serenely and hit the door, sliding into the smaller area where only one sheet of metal stood between her and the silence she craved so much.

As her hands found the final button a soft voice stopped her. "What are you doing, little one?"

She turned her head to see a gingered-haired man with a goofy grin. "Loud noises permeates bone and grey matter."

He looked around. "The airlock is pretty soundproof."

She shook her head roughly, her hair flying in every direction. "Sound bouncing from side to side, echoing louder each pass as it has no outlet."

"So, what's the plan?"

She placed her small hand on the outer door. "Silent totality."

He stepped forward, his boot not making a sound. "But that's slightly permanent, little bunny. How will that help the crew?"

"Cares not. Head pain, tension bad."

He motioned towards the small window showing the frantic doctor beating on it and calling her name. "Simon had medication--"

She stamped her foot. "No! No more drug-hazed River! Has had enough!" She moved her hand to the release.

"Wait! They still need you. They need their pilot."

"You left," she accused, glaring at the friendly man.

"I wasn't given much choice, River. But you do. Tell Simon what's wrong so he can give you something that will help."

Her eyes watered. "So hard."

"You have a choice."

She looked back at him but he was gone. The banging got her attention.

"River! Open the door, please! River!"

She walked to the window and out her forehead on the cool glass. "Head hurts, Simon."

"Ok, mei-mei. Let me in and I can help."

"Hate shots."

"It helps work faster. Don't do anything..."

"Crazy," she supplied with a small smile.

"Bad," he disagreed. "I'm going to get the medicine for your head now."

"Anythin' make her less crazy," she heard.

"Not helpin', Jayne," was said before their captain put his face in place of Simon's. "Open the door, Lil Albatross. That's an order."

"What ya goin' to do, Mal? Put her in the black if she don't comply?"

"Jayne," Mal snarled, "keep it up an' I'll put _you_ in the black."

As Jayne snickered River caught a wave of apprehension her crew members felt. For her. She realized she was running from the ones trying to help. She released the lock on her side and watched Mal hit the switch to open the door.

"River!" Kaylee said, taking a step forward before Zoe stopped her.

River put her hands to her head, surprised it wasn't breaking open from the pain.

"Lil 'Tross? Jayne here is gonna hold you so's Doc and help ya."

She felt hands on her upper arms but didn't struggle as they moved her forward and then still. The grip was firm but not tight and she opened her eyes and leaned her head back to look up at the merc.

"Don't wanna hurt ya," he warned.

She shook her head. "Brain hurts," she told him before allowing her body to collapse against his. She would have laughed as he flinched but instead she meekly extended her arm to her brother as he inserted the needle.

* * *

**chromatophobia- fear of color**

**chiricophobia- fear of gloves**

**nosocomephobia- fear of hospitals**


	9. Letter to Ma

Jayne Cobb stuck his head out of his room, looked back and forth to confirm the clear was indeed clear. He then went out into the corridor and made his way to the mess area, specifically the mess table. Once there he spread his things out carefully: paper, pencil, and a worn folded piece of used paper. He read the words on the paper carefully then put his lead to the clean sheet and slowly made some words. 

_Dear Ma, _

_Sorree it has been sum time sense Ive writ. We have been busee with sum back too back jobs. The capn Mal sez we got goods but I aint seen nun yet. He is good fore it. Sides aint landed in sum time so do not need nuthin or no coin. Got yur prezent u made. Sumtimes we go to places wher it is cold so the gluvs r gud. Same color as my hat. Takin gud care of them. The crazee gurl sez they r called mitins but I sez thats to fancee fore them._

_How r u and Matty and the yung ones? Everone here is fine and sez hey. Kaylee, the litle mekanik gurl sez it is all most Krismas. I dont no how she nos but shes all sorts of exsited coz Mal sez we kin shop next plannet in. Dont no what to get nobodee but I will try to find sumthin fore u if I kin. Give hugs to the gurls._

_Yur son, Jayne_

He was rereading his letter when he felt something tickle his cheek. He turned his head and jumped as his face became engulfed in hair. He shoved at her before glaring at her. "Look, for you to be so gorram smart you sure are dumb sometimes."

River turned her head to look at him at an angle. "Meaning which explanation?"

"Sneak up on a man when he's libel to have a gun an' you gonna get shot. Then your sissy brother will be too busy cryin' over your wound to get to mine an' I don't reckon I like bleedin' to death 'cause the doc's too tore up 'cause somethin' your fault in the first place." He took a breath. "Moon Brain," he added.

She smiled at him. _Smiled_. He was going to have to come up with some new insults. "Would you be willing to let me correct your spelling?" she asked, sticking her hand out.

He looked at his letter, then back at her, flushing. "Ain't nothin' wrong with it."

"You have expanded upon the written language with your variations of spelling. I had a feeling you wanted to check them but had no reference to refer to."

Jayne felt the heat of his cheeks and didn't like feeling downright embarrassed. "Keep your feelings to yourself. 'Sides, Ma ain't that learned so's she probably not gonna understand iffn it's all fancified."

She smiled at him. "_Non scholae sed vitae discimus_- we do not learn from school but from life."

"Non-what?"

"_Non scholae sed vitae discimus_," she patiently repeated. "It's Latin, a dead language."

Jayne grew alarmed at that. "Don't be speaking no language of the dead or any of that go se 'round me! Got 'nough ta worry 'bout 'sides ghosts showing up."

"The only ghosts are within ourselves, Jayne Cobb. People remembered so their life was meaningful. Among my many talents, necromancy is not one tried or tested."

"Good ta know," he muttered, trying to reread his letter while keeping it from River's view.

"Proffered proofreading skills rejected as unuseful?"

"Yeah. Go 'way."

She moved from the table. "Tell Ma Cobb I hope she fares well."

He rolled his eyes but added:

_P.S. Crazee River gurl sez she hopes u r well._

He thought for a moment before adding"

_I hope u r to._


	10. Fight Pt II

**Author Note: Just a reminder the wonderful characters aren't mine. Darn!**

A shriek could be heard throughout the ship. "I could kill you!"

"Jayne!" Mal shouted instinctively.

"Hey!" the man said from his seat on the couch near Mal. "Why am I always gettin' blamed for everythin'? I'm offended by your...your..."

"Discrimination," River supplied from the ground, not looking up from her drawing.

"What she said," Jayne told his captain.

From his chair the captain glared at the both of them. "That's enough outta both of you. An', River, don't encourage him with them big words. Ain't never gonna be a smart man."

The argument that was spawned from that careless comment was nearly as fiery as the one in the other part of the ship.

Kaylee and her doc had been getting along fantastically. After Miranda everyone's perceptions on life changed and Kaylee was just happy that Simon wanted her to be part of his.

She had left him asleep in her makeshift bunk in the engine room- the only place loud enough that she was comfortable enough to be in with Simon when it was still lights on. She danced to her own tune as she stood under the water they had rigged for the shower unit. She got out sooner than she wanted to and bundled up in her towel quickly to run back to her area.

She found Simon awake when she got back. Sitting up. Reading. Her diary. "What are you doing?" she asked, red from head to toe from what he could potentially be reading, not bothering to catch her covering as it fell when she reached over to snatch her prized possession.

To his credit, he flamed up too. "I, I didn't know what it was at first."

"Did you completely miss the words 'Dear Diary' at the top of the pages?"

He muttered something that Kaylee barely caught. "That's what that says?"

She was embarrassed, mortified. "Why would you do this?"

"I didn't know what it was, Kaylee. I saw it and thought you had found some interesting reading. I was proud and wanted to look at what sparked your imagination."

"So's I gotta be into readin' anythin' without pictures for ya to be proud of me?"

"Now, that's not what I said."

She blinked rapidly in an attempt to stifle the tears springing to her eyes. "Just coz I ain't well-versed in books don't mean I'm stupid, Simon."

He jumped up, oblivious to his state of undress. "I _never_ thought of you as stupid or unworthy, Kaylee. Just calm down and let me explain."

"Why don't I just give this back to ya so's you can know all my secrets so's ya know how best to explain it to me."

"Kaylee," he said in a pleading tone. "I didn't read anything in it. I had just opened it."

"What if I hadn't come when I did? You would've just put it back?"

His flushed face told her all she needed.

"Out."

"But, Kaylee..."

"I ain't smart 'nough to be with ya, Simon, but I am smart 'nough to know it."

He jerked his pants up. standing in front of her to prove his point. "Kaylee, not everybody has the chance that River and I had to further their education. But what you don't have in book knowledge you have talking to Serenity's engine and street sense. Sometimes I think I am not good enough for you."

She glanced down at her book then looked back to him. "You didn't read none of it?"

Simon met her eyes with seriousness. "I promise."

She offered him a tiny smile. "Sorry."

He pulled her into his arms and whispered to her, "It's ok. Just stop being so insecure. You deserve a lot more than I can offer you- even with the bounty off my head."

She pushed back from him. "You go ahead. I'll catch up with you later on."

"You sure?"

She nodded, sitting on the bed, turning her book over.

"Are we...ok?"

"I just need some time to myself."

Despite the ominous tone and the ice pit in his stomach, Simon honored her wishes.


	11. Fight Pt III

"Hey!" Jayne yelled at his captain. "Why am I always gettin' blamed for everythin'? I'm offended by your...your..." 

"Discrimination."

"What she said."

Mal glared at his mercenary and pilot. "That's enough outta both of you. And, River, don't encourage him with them big words. Ain't never gonna be a smart man."

Jayne flashed him an evil glare. "Ain't no call for bringin' somethin' like that up, Cap'n. No call at all."

Mal raised his chin in a challenge. "Callin' it like it needs to be said, Jayne. What there's no call of is bein' so uppity like a bee in your hind. Don't be scared of the truth."

"Ain't scared of no truth. You tha one should be scared."

Mal straightened up. "You threatenin', Jayne."

"Nope. I ain't the one you scared of."

He smirked. "Oh?"

"The organ responsible for life is one feared through for no good reason as does not rule that which you actually are afraid of."

Everyone looked to the floor where the pilot sat, drawing. "Thank you, Crazy Moon Brain," Jayne said, rolling his eyes.

She looked peacefully up at her insulter. "It is the truth you seek to inform the Captain about."

"Most my life's been without you defendin' me. Think I did just fine without ya."

"'Sides," Mal just had to add, "he ain't understandin' you no how."

"Oh, you gonna act all knowingly when we all know your brain ain't got the capacity to know Crazy's mind."

Mal glared at Jayne. "Watch out, Jayne. Throwin' those big words 'round you might get confused for a learned man."

"Ain't no confusion. I know lots of things."

Mal snorted loudly as River and Inara exchanged looks and eye rolls. "What you know ain't worth crap, Jayne Cobb."

Jayne sat up straight, his eyes so narrow they were slits. "I know 'nough to stay alive an' I know 'nough on how ta kill a man. Think that's a pretty good head up on some."

"Children not yet weaned from their Ma's know that much, Jayne."

"Knowledge comes not just from books but also from a way of life," River blurted out. "Opportunities missed pave the way for future gain and those who live long while forgetful of their verses can tell of memory passed."

Jayne flat out ignored her. "All's I'm sayin' is I ain't too dumb to know what's what an' you are too 'fraid of 'motions ta get past your basic thoughts."

Mal laughed. "You playin' shrink doctor, Cobb?"

Inara felt the need to intervene. "Mal, perhaps it's time to stop being childish and quit trying to pick fights."

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "Jayne started it, An' now he's spoutin' _go se_ that needs to be challenged."

"Ain't done it," Jayne protested.

River closed her notebook and stood, stretching gracefully. "Jayne has merely put my thoughts into a comprehensible language you can follow, Captain Daddy."

Mal looked between the two suspiciously. "Since when you talk crazy, Jayne?"

"Ain't done it," he repeated, looking perplexed. "Just speakin' mind s'all. Don't know nothin' 'bout Crazy Bird talkin'."

"I find that interestin'," the captain said but Simon entered the area, looking down.

"Kaylee angered at deception," River noted.

The crew members scattered like flies, not wanting to get in the middle of that particular battle.


	12. Memories

**Season's Greetings to everyone!**

Zoe thought she was walking aimlessly about the ship when she found herself in the cockpit, looking at the chair that once held her husband and shook off the shock that he was not there. She picked up one of the dinosaurs still perched on the instrument panel and sat down in the additional chair to study the plastic form in her hand. After but a moment she realized she wasn't paying a bit of attention and she cradled the yellow and green reptile as she let her mind wander, as it was apt to do these days.

She found her thoughts much like her path on Serenity- aimless. About the time Zoe felt she had a grip on her reality she would have a dream or smell a scent or see an item and Wash's memory would be a fresh wound festering painfully.

She had forced herself through the motions of her life, each day she took at a time. She had even smiled- albeit briefly- when River declared she would perform a Nutcracker something or other and danced around them at the table for three solid hours. That coupled with Simon's explanation of each 'scene' she was doing had been amusing for the whole crew. Except for Jayne, who declared it "fancified _go se_" and disappeared- apparently before the first act was over.

Mal still treated her like his first mate but he, like all the others, treated her with kiddie gloves. They seemed to be walking on eggshells around her, too afraid to say anything or be happy in front of her. At first Zoe appreciated it because she needed to make her peace.

But now she realized she would never accept what happened. She would just have to live with it and the way her team mates acted just opened the wound she was trying to bandage.

Now as she sat in the cockpit it was almost as if he were here with her. She smiled as she remembered their first time had been in the very chair she was sitting in and Mal had nearly walked in on them. They had giggled like children at the table that night but it would be several months later before the Captain found out about them. Then he never believed it was serious up until the day they got married.

"Those were the days," she said now in the darkened cockpit. "It was a game, wasn't it, Wash, seeing how many places we could christen before we were discovered. I think we hit them all."

_Except the Cap'n's room_, she could almost hear him say.

"Of course. I seem to recall you wanted to go for it."

_Just another room, lambietoes._

"Another room that happened to belong to the captain. It was bad enough when he caught us on the stairs to the cargo hold."

_Ah, yes. But it was fun._

"I thought Cap'n would _never_ forgive us."

"Did he?"

The sudden appearance of another voice snatched Zoe into reality and she felt heat on her face as she turned to see her visitor. "River, you surprised me."

The girl climbed into her pilot seat and pulled both of her bare feet up to hook her arms around her knees, reminding Zoe of a child. "I heard your story and, intrigued, come forward for more."

"More what?"

"More stories. Increased knowledge of memories one can reconstruct a being and more properly fit into the role."

"I...I was having a private moment."

She nodded. "Understood. Feel no shame in conversing with an invisible entity."

"River, honey. That's sweet but you don't understand."

"Am not a child. Have lived many years in the span of months making me far older than a stated age. Besides, we share commonalities. Hoban Washburne still roams Serenity."

Zoe looked sharply at her. "Wash is dead, River." As she said it she realized it was the first time she had given voice to the idea.

River looked at her stubbornly. "Appearing not at all, Wash's memory holds enough power to conjure when such a need arises. Once the head hurt too much to properly function in a reasonable manner, a button was nearly pushed before reason came in the form of the retired pilot."

Even in her most normal states sometimes it was a chore to understand poor River. "You sayin' you didn't eject yourself because Wash appeared to you?"

River nodded. "Giving voice of solutions for our problems."

"But...how is that possible?"

River screwed up her mouth as she tried to give voice to her thoughts. "Wash is dead and buried still, keeping Book company. But you prove his memory is always there. You hear him speak and comment on things because you have spoken in the past. His image appeared to me when a voice wouldn't be enough. The human brain is capable of many things that retrieve beyond synapses and motor skills. There was a saying on the Earth-that-was- 'Memories are but photographs and movies to be taken out and viewed when you can enjoy them'."

Zoe looked at the girl for the longest time before speaking slowly. "He eventually forgave us. But he swore he would fire us both if he caught us again."

"He wouldn't have."

"No, but it was embarrassing so we learned to go behind closed doors."

"Time with sanity was nothing. Paint me a picture of him."

Zoe smiled. "He was a great person- once I got that horrible moustache off of him. When we talked of marriage he just _had_ to wave his ma. Then he was so excited he could only stutter. I had to step in to talk to his family, who were all just like him..."


	13. Illness Pt I

**AN: Back after the holidays with brand new ideas! This one was so long I decided to split it but never fear! I will not make you wait any longer. And, remember, as always, I am borrowing the characters although the ideas are all from my own little mind.**

* * *

Kaylee refused to consider anything Simon had to say for weeks after his initial mishap. That was until after the trip into a city for a pickup. 

She was beaming as she wrapped her arms around one of his. "An' 'Nara, he told them men ta back up 'coz I's spoken for. An' they did!"

Mal snorted at the head of the table. "That's 'coz me an' Jayne stood behind the doc directly."

Inara pointedly ignored him. "That was sweet, Simon. I'm glad you two have made up."

"Well," Kaylee said, "we ain't made nothin' yet."

River made a disgusted noise and her brother turned a bright red.

"Oh," Kaylee said, nonchalantly, "don't be such a prude. Everyone already knows we warmin' each others bodies."

River motioned that she was going to throw up and Jayne, alarmed, tried to get away only to be stopped by an explosive sneeze that startled him

This time it was River moving away, nose scrunched up. "Politeness requires a cover to cover up the external midline projection before a pathogenic micro-organism infects others.

"Jayne," Mal said in his captain voice. "Don't be sneezin' all over the food, 'kay?

Jayne used his arm to wipe his nose and sulked at the food on his plate he had sneezed on. "Didn't plan it. Doc, it ok ta eat?"

Simon covered his snort with a faux cough. "It should be fine, Jayne. If you are sick you most certainly can not re-infect yourself."

The man grunted. "Guess that makes sense." He reached over and stole River's roll. She kicked him in retaliation causing him to bellow in pain.

"Children!" Inara said to them, getting their attention. "Behave!"

The mercenary sniffled again, making a show of breathing on the bread before putting it back on the girl's plate. "Decided I didn't want it no how."

"_Wang ba dan_, _dong wu_! _Zhen taoyon_! Keep it," she insisted. She looked at the rest of the food with distrust before pushing the plate away. "I have things to do," she announced before leaving the table and room completely.

"Guess someone forgot to tell the _feng le_ girl she's 'posed to be doin' dishes," Jayne said, triumphantly.

Mal threw his napkin down and looked at his heavy. "Gives you two options, Jayne."

"What's that?"

"You either go tell River she needs to some back and do her chore or you do it."

Jayne frowned. "How you figure?"

"You the one run her off."

His frown deepened. "This ain't fair," he told his captain.

"Should've listened when I told ya to watch the food. How ain't it fair? Gave ya a choice."

"Yeah, walk inta death or do the dishes _again_ this week."

"Seems fair to me," Mal insisted.

Jayne snuffled and sneezed in Mal's direction, not bothering to cover his mouth. He got the satisfaction of seeing Mal backpedal so fast he fell right on the floor, causing a general laughter from the group.

Mal stood, looking pissed. "Get those dishes done, Jayne."

Jayne was content to glare at Reynolds until everyone had left the room before standing to gather all the plates. He tried to cover his mouth but still had to wash the same plate several times. He got progressively slower on each dish. By the time the genius girl made it back to the scene he was starting to feel rather bad.

"Jayne does my job," she stated when she saw him at the sink.

"Huh?" he asked, turning around real slow because his head was hurting.

She frowned at him. "You're sick."

Jayne held up his wet hands. "Hey, don't kill me please. 'Less it will help my head."

River walked up to him and stood on her tiptoes to feel his forehead with the back of her hand. "The body temperature exceeds recommended degrees unless the unreliable source misrepresents reality."

"What?"

She shook her head and grabbed his hand. "Come see Simon."

He didn't argue and allowed himself to be led to a seat in Simon's medroom. Once she assured he would stay she spirited off to finish the task of cleaning the dishes.

* * *

wang ba dan- son of a bitch

dong wu- animal

zhen taoyon- how annoying


	14. Illness Pt II

Simon was searching his cabinets when Mal came to see him. "We've cures for most of the more complex diseases known to man and we still struggle to medicate patients with a common cold." 

"Hm. He really was sick? I thought he was fakin'."

Simon gave him a smile. "You can't fake a 102 degree temp."

Mal frowned. "Think of who we are talkin' about, Doc."

"Captain Reynolds, Jayne's sick and more than likely has infected all of us."

"That _hun dan_! I'm gonna kill him!"

Simon put his hands out to calm the captain. "A simple cold. IF we do catch it some medication will suffice to help us fight the symptoms."

Mal didn't look pacified. "That's it. He ain't allowed to go nowhere planetside. No whores, no weapons, nothing. He goes to the drop and to the ship."

"Good luck implementing that," the young doctor told him. "Think of who we are talking about," he said, mimicking Mal's words from earlier.

"_I_ am the captain," Mal assured him as if that statement validated the mandate.

Simon turned back to the cabinet, being sure to roll his eyes out of the captain's view. "Nevertheless, I am trying to gather all the items I believe will help us in case anyone else gets the illness."

"I guess I should thank you for your preparedness," Mal offered begrudged.

"Let's hope it's not needed."

* * *

hun dan- bastard


	15. Illness Pt III

By morning two other people were sniffing at the table. Having a stuffy head and a slight cough put a damper on Kaylee's normal light mood and it made Mal grouchy as he cursed Jayne in every language he knew. Luckily he missed the amusement in the shared looks of Inara, Zoe, and River. 

After the afflicted got their share of breakfast they each trooped to their respective rooms with promises from Simon that he would be by with drugs following them.

River silently prepared an additional plate and was nearly out of the room when her ge ge caught her.

"I think it is very nice of you to think of Jayne, mei mei, but you might catch the cold."

"I've been exposed just as all beings have," she argued.

"I'll not have you exposed more."

"Simon, how will the doctor help the fallen child if he, too, suffers?"

He sighed. "My defenses are above yours. No more arguing." He took the full plate. "Thank you."

Zoe stood and went to the young woman. "You know he's right, River."

River frowned. "Exposer risk is all the same if he carries it on his person. He will not take the time to assure enough nutrients are consumed, driven by the urge to visit his sicken dove."

Inara stood as well. "Do you care for Jayne?" she asked.

River flushed but shook her head. "Caring not an issue but distraction could be. I do not like Jayne as much as appreciate him for a person- not someone keeping me from curing my love."

Zoe patted her shoulder. "Jayne won't starve."

"Illness is imminent," the tiny girl predicted before heading to her sanctuary in the cockpit to assure proper course if she, too, would fall.

Although it was Simon's turn to make dinner, Inara and River did _everyone_ a favor and volunteered to do it. It was no secret that while the doctor was very talented in the medical field, he was horribly bad in culinary.

The girls managed to whip up something quite tasty for the healthy people while Simon, in passing, asked for some bland grub for those succumbed to illness. Since there was not as many to cook for, Inara added some of her special spices she still had left over from her previous position as companion.

"You know," she was saying as she joined River and Zoe at the table, "I think I will replenish some of my supplies the next time we land. I mean, Mal is giving me a cut now since he _finally_ realizes I'm serious about leaving my profession behind."

Zoe made a happy noise as she took a bite of her food then swallowed before asking, "Has Cap'n finally stopped chargin' rent?"

Inara gave a pretty frown. "I had to threaten to move all of my things outside of the shuttle door before he finally acquiesced. He can be so stubborn!"

Zoe didn't bother to hide her snort or subsequent smirk. "Oh, you're right 'bout that, definitely. But I'd put my money on you every time. Just don't tell him I said so."

Inara laughed. "Never."

"The walking sickness returns," River noted and the women looked up to see Simon walk in the room.

He slumped in his seat and ran his hand through his hair. "Never let it be said that I don't earn my money around here."

Inara got up to fix his plate. "You look tired."

"I've rotated in the emergency area and regular hospital for _years_ and I've never had patients as difficult as these."

"Jayne?" Zoe asked him, sympathetically.

"Oh, Jayne's bad," Simon said as he gratefully took the plate Inara offered. "He's bored and wanting to get up but doesn't have the strength yet so he uses his energy while he's awake to amuse himself by verbally abusing me every second I'm in his vicinity. Kaylee, on the other hand, shows she doesn't feel good by being extremely clingy and needy."

"Captain Daddy?" River asked.

"_He_ is the worst by far," Simon stated before taking a bite of his food. "Hey! This is good stuff."

"Mal?" Inara prompted.

"He yelling?" Zoe asked.

Simon shook his head. "Yelling I can handle. But I've never seen a grown man act so much like a baby."

Inara tried to keep the smirk off her face but her mouth twitched upward. "What, exactly, is he doing?"

The doctor rolled his eyes. "Whining that he doesn't feel good for starters. He's hot, he's cold, why don't I just kill him and end his miserable life. I swear he couldn't be more dramatic if he had a life on stage."

River giggled. "Captain Prima Daddy."

"I honestly can't decide if I want to end his life or mine."

Inara adopted an evil grin. "You leave him to me."

Simon dropped his spoon to protest. "I can't allow you to be exposed--"

She waved her hand impatiently to interrupt the words she knew to be coming out of his mouth. "I agree with River. More than likely we will get sick no matter what we do."

"Meanin' you ain't got to do all the work, Doc," Zoe piped up.

River nodded. "Wearing thin."

He sighed. "I suppose there's no arguing this?" Three heads shook. "Fine. The men don't mind the food as much as the medicine. They have to take it every twelve hours."

"I shall be charge of medicinal administration," his sister announced.

"Now, River, I don't know..."

She scowled. "Who better knows tablets filled with cures and compliance?"

Before he could answer, Inara smiled. "Then it's agreed. Zoe and I will feed Mal and Jayne while River assures their antibiotics are taken. I am assuming you are going to assist Kaylee on her path of wellness?"

Simon sputtered and blushed.

River rolled her eyes. "Boob."


	16. Illness Pt IV

Inara's first encounter with the bedridden Mal was slightly unpleasant. 

"What the _di yu_ you doin' down here?" was how the gracious man greeted her.

She ignored him and gave him a smile, hoping to make him feel better. "I brought you some soup."

Mal achingly sat up with his back supported by his pillow and blew his nose on the most convenient thing- his sleeve. "Soup, huh? What's in it?"

She looked about the room and spied what looked to be a somewhat clean shirt and wondered what he would do if she suggested a change. "Well, you probably don't want to know but--"

He pouted immediately. "I ain't eatin' it."

"Why not?"

"Because all I's been eatin' is some non-tastin' go se past several an' I ain't seein' no change in my health."

She tried to reason with him. "But, Simon said--"

"You go tell that doctor to come down here now so I can tell him what he could do with his gorram bland soup."

She sat the bowl on the object that passed as a dresser and sat on the edge of the bed. "Listen, Mal, I know you don't feel good but Simon...and I are only trying to help."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "You have that food for dinner?"

She averted her eyes. "Not exactly."

"Tastes like Simon done made it an' Jayne stirred it with his bare foot."

She stood. "Are you not going to eat it?"

Mal pulled his mouth into a snarl. "Damn right I ain't gonna eat that. Take it to Jayne and give me real food before my foot has to go up someone's ass, dong ma?"

Inara arched a thin, dark eyebrow. "This is all the food I am bringing you until tomorrow. You don't eat this you will go hungry, dong ma?"

He picked up the bowl, scowling. "There is no one who respects who's cap'n?"

"Not when he's being a child."

In response mal turned up the bowl, forgoing the spoon, and finished his meal in two big gulps. Then, as Inara reached for the dinnerware, Mal showed his displeasure by throwing the item against the farthest wall. It crashed in a loud noise and shattered in several pieces.

Inara clenched her hands into a fist and glared at him. "Was that really necessary?"

He shrugged. "Made me feel better."

She left without another word.

* * *

di yu-hell


	17. Illness Pt V

Jayne was just as surly but not as apt to demonstrate it as he was scared of the warrior woman who brought his food. 

"Wish it weren't so _zhou ma_ water tastin'," he said, slowing spooning in his meal.

Zoe lifted an eyebrow as she studied the man. "It tastes like water?"

"Near 'bouts."

"If it makes you feel better what difference does it matter how it tastes?"

"Don't know. Maybe coz my tasters ain't sick."

She gave him a small smile. "Just finish your soup so you don't have to eat it much more."

Jayne gave a long sniff then used the rag Zoe gave him to blow his nose. "Been some time since I's sickly."

"It's no fun," she said, partly for the sake of not being quiet enough to hear him eat.

"You ain't lying. Hate bein' 'inactive. Makes me feel worthless."

"You'll be able to prove your worth soon 'nough, knowin' the Cap'n."

He grimaced as he swallowing his last bite but looked at the first mate thoughtfully as he continued to hold the bowl. "Know you're the Cap'n's partner and all but I'd like the chance to practice fightin' with you. Once I ain't so sickly."

She watched him, analyzing. Finally she reached for the bowl. "I'm sure that can be arranged." She heard the hatch opening. "I'll check in later." Zoe turned to trade places with River.

The young girl was humming and looked flighty to Jayne. It was his turn to raise a brow as Zoe left the area and left the feng le girl with him. "Ain't proper, you bein' in here," he said, pulling his covers up to his already covered chest.

She peered at him strangely. "She contains more?"

"Look, don't you be talkin' all 'she' an' 'her' like. Mal be blamin' me next an' I'll get the boot."

River gave him a big smile. "You misunderstood. 'She' being Zoe."

"Don't follow."

She shook her head, causing her hair to fall over her face. She sat on the end of the bed, making Jayne move his feet away from her as is she was poison. She didn't seem to notice but continued to hum as she searched her small bag she had carried with her.

"What kind of crazy _go se_ you got in that bag?" asked the curious yet leery man. "Ain't got no voodoo whacha-ma-call-it?"

She came out victoriously with a tiny plastic container then presented it to Jayne.

He leaned back away from River as far as the furniture would allow. "What is that?"

"Medication," she replied.

He squinted. "What kind?"

River rolled her eyes. "Difficulty makes timely mistakes in a world while time is essential. Refusal marks childhood completely."

Jayne smirked then sneezed, using his shirt as a shield. He sniffed deeply- causing River to wrinkle her nose. He wiped his face then looked at River. "Heard ya, girl. Listen an' all but gotta tell ya, ain't know what you babblin' 'bout."

She leaned forward and reached to put the pills in his face. "Take the gorram pills."

His eyes widened as she slowly took the container and dumped the meds into his mouth, grabbing his water beside him.

Satisfied, River hopped off the bed, being sure to take her packet and went on her way, humming to her own tune.

* * *

zhou ma- damn


	18. Illness Epilogue

Simon was found at the kitchen table with his head down, tired physically and mentally at this point. 

The illness was receding slowly. Jayne was walking around his room though his body, tired from inactivity, made him rest frequently. The patients- well, Mal and Jayne- were still ranked as his worst. The girls- women- helped tremendously. After several episodes of shouting matches the men sulked and did as they were told.

"Simon?"

He raised his head. "Mei mei, what's wrong? You look pale."

She sniffed and opened her mouth to talk but an explosive sneeze came instead.

Simon just moaned and placed his head back on the table.


	19. A Gift

"What are you doing?"

Such a simple question with various amounts of answers. Jayne chose to turn his head after he finished tying his shoe to glare at the girl near his shoulder. "What's with the third degree?"

She tilted her head just so and blinked owlishly at him. "Third degree of what?"

He rolled his eyes. "Kid, to be so smart ya ain't that bright."

River ignored his barb. "Are you going out?"

"What's it look like I'm doing, sittin' here for the pure joy of talkin' to you?"

She frowned. "I detect a hint of sarcasm."

Jayne stood, stretching his long frame. "Then your detection is correct. Now, spit out what you want 'fore I leave you mid-sentence."

River took another step forward to stand right in front of him, head tilted up to look into his blues. "Bring me back something."

"What?" he asked, startled.

"Anything," she shrugged, misunderstanding his question purposely it seemed.

Jayne scowled and crossed his bulky arms. "No."

"Please?"

"You go out and get whatever."

She pouted. "Simon restricted me to the vessel this flight down, being an unreasonable boor. I would like a surprise, Jayne, and you are the only one left to ask."

"No," he said and stomped to the opened hatch and into the wonderfully sweet night air.

She sat down on the grated floor and watched him until he was out of sight. River estimated five minutes passed before she finally stood to enjoy the peaceful night on the ship.

She trailed her hand lightly across Serenity's walls as she made her way barefoot around the hull of the ship. "The bad is now better," she muttered. "The bonds are tighter, ties stronger." She leaned to put her forehead on the metal structure she was near. "I am Serenity. She is River. We are one."

She sat down, still leaning against the ship, sitting curled up, rubbing her hand as if to soothe. "A trip has been made. We are still broken but we have survived. Broken forever but still needed."

Suddenly her face broke out into a smile and she bounded to her feet, executing a twirl as she ran up the stairs in the cargo area. She made a beeline to her room and grabbed her sketchbook and pencil before pirouetting again and heading for her favorite chair near the medic room that was frequented quite often on their particular ship.

River wondered if anyone was close by and allowed herself to open her mind to the ones closest to her- the crew. Using their prevalent thoughts, she determined that Kaylee and Inara were looking at "fanciful duds". Everyone else was at a nearby bar. Including Jayne. River felt a twinge of disappointment about this although she needed no surprise to feel particularly validated. Still, a gift would have been nice...

She shut her mind off from everyone except Serenity and began humming to herself as she put her black pencil onto a blank sheet of paper.

River Tam had curled onto one side and had long since fallen asleep when Serenity warned her of them long before her mind told her someone was coming. She scurried to the cargo hold as the loud voices of her crew made their way to her eyes. She was down the stairs and across to the door in time to hear Captain Mal complaining.

"Opening my ship to every critter and varmint on this planet."

She smiled sweetly at him. "Your approach could be heard from three miles away. I merely did not want to inconvenience you in having to wait for the hatch to be lowered."

Mal grunted. "I know when you're bein' sarcastic, Albatross. I can understand you when you are."

Jayne snorted as he swayed slightly. "Had to dumb it way down for the likes of you."

"I'll dumb you down," Mal growled. "How'd you like to sleep outside tonight?"

"Not happenin'," Jayne shot back. "Wouldn't stay out long."

"How'd ya figure?"

"Someone'd let me in."

Mal laughed. "No one on my crew would do that- go 'gainst my word."

Jayne fished a bag out of his pocket and grinned. "Bribery is a beautiful thing."

The disbelief mirrored in the crew's faces turned to shock as River's eyes widened. "For me?" she barely got out.

He rolled his blue eyes. "Asked for something, didn't you."

She came up and gingerly retrieved the bag from his grip. She reached inside and pulled out three pencils of the same quality as hers. However, they weren't black but blue, red, and yellow. Her wide eyes met his and he started to turn red himself.

"Woman at the store said these would be enough to start with."

River nodded before bouncing up and kissing his cheek. "Thank you, Jayne!"

Jayne tried to cover up his embarrassment. "What the gorram hell was that about?"

Mal glared at the reader and the mercenary. "Yeah. What the gorram hell is going on?"

River grinned. "Ask Simon," she said as she floated towards the stairs, newly acquired pencils clutched in her hand.

The inebriated doc stared dumbly at his sister before asking about the date. Once told he began swearing under her breath, the word "shengri" popping up.

"Hey, Moon-Brain!" Jayne shouted as River reached the top landing.

"Jayne?" her voice wafted down.

"Happy birthday." 


	20. Fight Pt IV

The yelling could be heard throughout the ship. Most tried to stay out of the path of the storm- Kaylee had decided it was time for the engine's tune up. Simon went to take inventory in his medic room. Zoe went to move cargo around to safer positions. River followed to hide in one of the secret holds, away from the screaming. Only Jayne chose to stay where he was- cleaning his guns on the kitchen table where he stuck around mainly to eavesdrop on the fight.

"Is this your idea of fun, Mal?" the furious Inara asked him, her fists balled at her side.

Mal sighed in exasperation. "Can't say it is."

"Then why must we continue this dance every other week?"

He frowned. "Seems to me you the cause. Maybe iffn you wouldn't act all hoity-toity 'round my crew--"

"They're _my _crew too!" she interrupted.

His eyes narrowed. "Don't seem to recall invitin' you to co-captain my ship."

Inara crossed her arms and raised her chin. "It would appear you don't ask for anything, Captain. You just demand from everybody."

"Isn't that what you're used to, 'Nara, with your job and all?" He turned to walk away.

She, of course, followed. "I gave my service to help people."

"Helped a _lot_ of people, did you?"

She wanted to kick or punch him in the back. Instead she grabbed his arm to stop his progress. "Perhaps you need to be reminded that I gave up that life for Serenity."

Mal rolled his eyes. "Nobody asked you to stay."

"The crew did," she stated, bluntly.

He growled. "How much does it pain you to know you gave up what you were good at for a place where you ain't needed?"

"You can't run me away, Mal. I've retired as a companion."

Mal made a look of disgust. "Once a whore always a whore, Inara."

She squared her shoulders. "What bothers you the most, Mal? The fact that I've had satisfaction while the last time you tried you nearly lost ALL your vital parts or that all those men had what you never will?"

He moved a step closer, dangerously in her space, but she refused to move an inch. "I could have whatever I want," he said, quietly.

"Prove it," she challenged.

For a moment she thought he would but his eyes turned cold. "I don't want anyone's leavin's." He started to walk away again.

"Coward."

That stopped Mal. "Watch yourself, girl, or you will find yourself rudely put off this ship."

"You treat me like the crew only when it serves your purposes."

"You can leave anytime."

She put her hands on her hips. "Will you ever give me the respect I deserve?"

"As a companion? No."

"I am a _former_ companion," she reminded him. "And I was speaking of respect as a human being."

He walked back to her. "You have everyone else's. Ain't that enough?"

"I want yours," she stubbornly said.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "To what point, Inara? To prove that you have every man and woman want to be with you?"

"It's not about that, Mal. We've known each other a very long time. I think it's time to put everything past us and become better people."

He snorted. "Oh, don't be so naive, 'Nara. Nothing's ever that simple." This time she allowed him to walk away.

When he made it to the kitchen he found Jayne reassembling Vera. "Should just go' head an' kiss her, Mal," Jayne said. "Buddha knows I would."

"You wanna get intimate with the airlock, Cobb?" Mal asked him in a menacing voice.

Jayne just grinned as he gathered his things and left for his bunk.


	21. Exercise

Jayne Cobb was in a mood and since he couldn't make himself feel better by shooting something he opted for the next best thing- lifting weights. After ascertaining he was alone he began his ritual, conscious of the memory trigger in the back of his mind.

Finally, he gave voice to that trigger. "Damnit, Sheppard Book, you hóng dà wáng bā dàn. Why'd you have ta leave this bird? Those people on that empty rock ended up not needing you at all and you ended up dead for your efforts. Told you that you were a fool but you just quoted some gorram quote from your wordy book like you were the feng dian girl or something."

He was quiet as he finished his first set- not sure of the number he was on but figured it didn't matter the way he always exercised. "'Course, ship weren't much safer it seems but you could've been here to say some words on Wash's grave. Say some comfort to poor Zoë. She ain't been the same. Wander iffn your fancy words would help now.

"Crazy girl ain't so crazy now. Heard your hair freaked her some. Maybe now it wouldn't. Though she thought Doc's was too long not too much ago and tried to cut it in his sleep. Screamed like a girl when he woke to see her on him with scissors. It was hi-larious."

He placed more weight on the bar and started again- slower this time.

"'Course here I am talkin' to nobody like the feng dian moon brain. Must be rubbin' off. Always the exercisin' makes me 'member things. Ain't forgot what you told me. Made you a promise that last time that I aim ta keep."

Another moment passed. "Damn old fool," he muttered before completing the rest of his workout in silence.

* * *

hóng dà wáng bā dàn- massive bastard


	22. Lazy Day

"No!" Kaylee exclaimed, her eyes wide with wonder.

"Yes!" Simon answered as they sat at the dining table, relaxing. "Strawberry fields as far as the eyes can see. So many they would let children help themselves."

"Amazin'!"

He grinned at her look. "I used to take River when we were young. Remember, mei mei?" he asked as River came gliding by, head down to her feet.

"Shh," she told him. "Counting."

Kaylee clasped her hands together at the happy thoughts of the rare fruit. "Oh, I wish I could see them."

At that Simon shifted somewhat uncomfortably. "The Federal ban may have lifted but I doubt very seriously my parents would be happy to see me. I've wasted their money and embarrassed them by pulling River out of the school. They never perceived she was in danger."

"Fools," River said as she floated by again. "Arrogant people too proud of accomplishments to see actual beings of flesh and blood."

Kaylee sighed. "How awful. Were they always so..." She struggled for the right word.

"Self centered? Uncaring? Obtuse?" Simon supplied. "Yes. I've often wondered what they would have done had they had children who didn't live up to their expectations."

"Failure not tolerated. Blue hands see all."

He frowned at his sister. "There are no more blue hands, mei mei."

"The blue hides behind white even as the young are being hatched."

Kaylee tried to turn the conversation to more pleasant things. "What else did your planet have, Simon?"

"Crustaceans," River answered in a waft-like voice as she paced slowly again.

Simon brightened at her apparent approval of the change. "Beautiful beaches."

Kaylee sighed. "I ain't never seen a beach before."

"I took River a few times when we could sneak away. The sand was golden sand went on for miles. The ocean was like a blue-green Black that went as far as the eye could see."

"I wish I could see it," she stated.

River kept her head down but commented, "The hand can show what the eyes can't see."

Kaylee's eyebrows raised so Simon translated. "She's offering to draw you a picture."

She clapped her hands. "That would be great, mei mei. It's something I can't wrap my head around. I bet it was so much fun!:

"It was," Simon told her, "until River took it upon herself to break up kissing couples and explain why exchanging bodily fluids was a process not as romantic as they previously thought. Graphically explained, I might add."

"I felt the couples needed to know what they were getting themselves in for if allowed to continue their current desired course."

"You were four!"

"Sh! Counting," River insisted.

Kaylee touched his hand. "Simon, do you ever miss it?"

He looked back at her. "Home? No."

"I do," she confessed.

"But you have a family back home. I just have a man and a woman who gave me life and opportunity but not much else. I have my sister with me and now I have you."

Her smile was huge. "And the rest of the crew's family too."

River's insistent pacing finally got to Simon. "What exactly are you counting, River?"

She looked up, her eyes shining. "Number of times embraces stopped because a sister is present." With a giggle she flew from the room.

Simon blushed as he rolled his eyes. "Now I know why Jayne's always demanding her to stop reading him."

Kaylee turned to him with a bold smile. "Well, now that the sister ain't present, how 'bout those embraces." 


	23. Sweet Dreams

**AN: Of course these characters belong to someone but they sure ain't mine. People are just nice enough to borrow them. Confession: the Muse for this story is being strict on me and so I tell you this story has its days numbered. But never fear. I am always writing...**

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Zoë was tossing and turning in bed once again. The last time she had slept this bad was in the war when every second might bring something to make you dead. Now the restless nights had started back and she would wake, unable to even remember what was causing the fright.

"No!" She jumped awake, sitting up the tangle of her sheets. She was in total darkness- the ship still in sleep mode- but from past experience she knew she would never get back to sleep. Instead she got out of bed, dressed into her usual garb, then made her way to the cockpit to sit in her husband's comfortable pilot seat, finding her own comfort in holding his plastic dinosaurs while she spent the rest of the night staring into the open, endless black.

The morning brought everyone together at the table, ready for some chow. Mal, cook for the day, glared at them all as he put down the protein meal in front of them as if daring anyone to criticize the meal. There was relative quietness due to the early hour and soon people dispersed to their duties. Zoë caught the sleeve of Simon as he turned to leave. "Can we talk a sec, Doc?"

He studied her face. "Yeah, sure, Zoë." He led her to a corner in the kitchen for privacy. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I..." She stopped, looking around but there was no one else there.

Simon put her hand gently on her arm, noting her muscles jumped at his touch. "Zoë, it's ok. You can trust me."

The tall woman let out a sigh as she leaned her weary body against a nearby counter. "Don't seem to be able to get a full night's sleep, Doc."

He nodded, sinking into his professional look. "And when you do sleep?"

Zoë dark eyes studied the flooring intently, avoiding his knowing eyes. Finally she gave in, knowing she would have to answer to get help. "Nightmares. I can't remember them, though, so I ain't bothered too bad."

Simon placed a hand on her shoulder. "You look exhausted, Zoë. How about you come to the med room later. I have a mild soother that will offer you some rest."

She looked alarmed. "I don't want to be out reality's touch for countless days or sucked into no parallel universe."

He chuckled. "_Mild_ soother. Works for six hours with no after effects. Ok?"

She nodded after giving it some thought and went about her busy day.

That night at the dinner table as they settled in for the last meal of the day the normal routine kicked in. Jayne glared at Simon as he snatched some rolls from the basket before it even hit the table. Mal and Inara were deep in an argument about nothing of consequence. River and Kaylee were trying something that resembled a chat over the noise and tension. Yet through all this Zoë was of the opinion that everyone knew she was giving in to the thing she hated- sacrificing control. She hated feeling weak but she hated feeling useless more and that was exactly what she was to the team until she caught some sleep.

When she estimated she had eaten enough food and endured enough babble from her companions she rose and went straight to her bunk. Luckily, Simon had had a tablet of what he wanted her to try instead of a shot. She swallowed it dry, doused the lights and laid down on her back with her hands folded on her stomach.

Zoë wasn't sure how much time had passed but her eyes grew heavy and she allowed them to close.

A noise alerted her of another presence and while she found she could not open her eyes she could see her surroundings just fine. And her intruder. She smirked as she looked up at him. "I'll have to tell the doc when I want no dreams that also includes hallucinations."

Sheppard Book gave her a gentle smile as he sat on the edge of her bed. "Don't consider me a hallucination as much as a vision seen in a dreamlike state."

"Pretty words don't change the facts none."

"Believe what you will, dearest Zoë. I am here for the moment at least."

"_Why_ are you here?" she asked, curiously.

He raised his eyebrows. "Because someone was in need of some faith."

She mentally shifted with discomfort. "No offense, Sheppard, but I ain't itchin' to be sermoned to."

"Faith doesn't have to necessarily refer to the base of religion. Just a belief- either in one's self, others, or an idea."

"And you saying I've lost faith?"

"Only you can truly answer that, Zoë, but I would venture to say you have indeed lost your faith in yourself."

She tried not to sound bitter. "And what makes you so sure of that?"

"Just as you talk to Wash others talk to me."

Zoë sucked in a breath. "What others?"

His gentle face smiled down at her. "Mal is very concerned about you, though he may not show it."

"The cap'n? He's lost faith in me? In my abilities?"

"No, dear child. But he is afraid _you_ have and to him that is just as heartbreaking."

"Ain't gotta worry 'bout me. I'll make it though," she said, defiantly and with strong conviction.

Book gave her a smile as he stood. "Zoë, I ask that you remember that and you truly will be just fine."

Zoë tried to stand. Finding she still couldn't move, she just watched Book walk towards the door, nonplussed at her apparent paralysis. Her eyes were getting heavy and she wondered vaguely if she could fall asleep if she was really dreaming. "Nice to see ya, Book."

"Continue living, Zoë. I shouldn't have to tell you that Wash wants you to."

She chose not to comment.

"And, Zoë, could you pass a message for me? Tell Jayne the only fool is the one who leaves things unspoken."

She didn't see him leave as she drifted off again.

When she went to the galley the next morning she felt a little more relaxed and smiled at the crew members present. Simon and Kaylee were the only ones who hadn't made their appearance as of yet.

Zoë sidled up to Jayne as the big merc tried to maneuver around the tiny cooking area. "Jayne," she said, softly.

Hr grunted but didn't look up from stirring her protein mush.

"I'm to tell you that Book is no fool."

Jayne's head jerked up. "How did you..." She had already walked away. "Feng le girl rubbin' off crazy on all _sorts_ of people."


	24. A Special Parcel

The morning times on Serenity brought routine to the crew. It also brought arguments to the table, the current one involving Jayne, Simon, and River that started way before the table appeared before them.

"River," Simon was saying, "I don't want you down there with Jayne while he's working out. It's not proper."

Jayne snorted. "Proper? Look around you, Doc. You the only uppity one."

Simon flushed. "I just don't think my mei-mei should be subjected to a half naked sweaty man with a nasty mind."

The merc shrugged, conveniently forgetting how he hated to be watched by the bratty girl for the sake of arguing with her annoyingly pompous brother. "Her choice. 'Sides, ain't like never seen her nekkid or nothin'."

Everyone paused as they looked at the scruffy man. Mal began to open his mouth but Inara's hand stopped him.

Simon's grip on his eating utensil tightened as his eyes narrowed on Jayne's face. "I'll give you one chance to justify what you just said."

It was enough to confuse Jayne. "Huh?" he asked, eyebrows knitted.

"Simon wonders where nakedness was seen," River told him.

In his anger Simon snarled at her. "Perhaps you would like to answer that question, River."

"Unnecessarily fair, ge-ge. Yi wu suo zhi."

"Jayne," Mal growled from his seat.

"Well, hells bells, Mal, you was there when she came out of the box nekkid as the black is long. Or are all you people gonna say ya turned your heads nice and polite like?"

Simon realized at hearing that the man didn't exactly take advantage of the situation but as River spoke he realized he wasn't out of the clear. "Box?" she questioned.

He winced and tried to smile. "I had to find a way to get you safely away from the school without anyone finding you."

Jayne snickered. "You didn't tell her already?"

Simon glared at him. "There really hasn't been time or opportunity."

She stood, crossing her arms. "You stuffed me inside a box as some sort of parcel?"

"A nekkid parcel," Jayne added.

"Not helping, Jayne!" Simon snapped then turned his head to see his sister storming out. "River! Just wait!" When she didn't show she noticed him calling he glared back at the man across the table. "This is all your fault."

"Me?" Jayne responded indignantly. "Iffn you had told her earlier she wouldn't be mad. At you, I might add. She's not mad at me."

"You know as well as I she hasn't been coherent until lately. I didn't want to confuse her."

"How's that working for ya?"

Mal spoke up. "Guys. I'd like to eat in peace."

"Well, technically it's your fault too, Captain," the doctor said in withering tones. "Perhaps if you had better control of your ship that day, she would have remained in the sleep state she was in and we would have departed without a fuss."

Mal just lifted an eyebrow. "Wouldn't be the first time something so simple turned into a complicated mess. Now, shut up all of you before I throw you all in the gorram black."

Jayne slammed a hand down on the table, making everyone jump at the noise. "Look, Doc, seems ta me blame rest on your shoulders. You kept a better eye on your sister, wouldn't be having this discussion."

Simon's eyes blazed as he stood up straight. "If you will excuse me, I am going to speak to my sister," he said through clenched teeth.

Mal shook a utensil at him and talked with his mouth full. "Don't think it's a good idea, Doc. Lil Albatross left here mighty pissed."

Simon looked as though he wanted to protest but a gentle hand stopped him. "Simon," Kaylee said, "I think he's right. Leave her be for now." He sat down slowly and began to push food around his plate.

After several minutes of silence Jayne suddenly jumped up and exited the room, mumbling that certain crew members were driving him feng le. He stomped through half the distance of the ship with it in his mind to go into his bunk when he heard some noise further back in the hold and decided to check it out. What he found was River punching and kicking one of his hanging bags for all it was worth. He walked down but stayed out of her range. "Whacha doin', Moon?"

She stilled the bag as she cut her narrowed eyes at him. "Am no moon but a flowing river."

He snorted. "Possibly a babbling brook when the mood hits ya but never the calmness of rivers I've seen. And, anyway, answer the question."

"Did Simon send you to be his envoy?" she asked, suspiciously.

"Huh? Hell no, Simon ain't ask me to be no end boy for him! Heard noises so's I came myself."

River cocked her head slightly to the side. "In the black middleness of nothing was there something Serenity held that was unexpected?"

Jayne frowned and crossed his arms. "Thought you might be tearing up the ship in your overexcitablity."

"You think I would endanger lives of the crews in my exuberance?"

He shrugged. "You act as if it hasn't happened before. And it has, you know. Happened before." "I feel naivety perishing and embarrassment flourishing. Suicidal is not part of the current tendency."

Jayne thought on that and nodded once before heading back to the stairs. He was on the first landing when he heard River say his name so wistfully he stopped and turned around.

She didn't speak her mind until she was on the same landing as him. She sat down and waited until Jayne was beside her before she opened her mouth. "Back then, in the box? What happened?"

He shifted. "Well, Doc had this big box he wouldn't say nothin' 'bout and when the bounty hunter got Mal in his crosshairs Cap'n thought it was time Doc shared his cargo. You woke up all screamin' and confused--"

"Naked."

"Yep. Though honestly couldn't see much but your leg and back. Nothin' be upset 'bout 'ceptin' it's fun to see ya mad at the doc."

"Simon tends to not remember I am my own person but sees me as his baby sister. No other."

"Just gotta let him know you are who you are. Nothing more and nothing less than you."

She gave him a brilliant smile and hug. He responded with a disgusted look and a roll of his eyes. 


	25. The Question

Kaylee giggled as she wrapped her arm around Simon's bare one and laid her head on his sweaty shoulder. She was out of breath but she didn't mind. She had had her fun. "Penny for your thoughts, Doc."

He frowned slightly. "Penny? I don't think that's worth anything now. Why would you have one of them?"

"Simon, it's a figure of speech. You know, from the Earth-that-was."

"Oh. Well, I was just thinking about how I love you, Kaylee."

"I'm so happy," she gushed. "We sure have been through a lot to get to where we are, what with the people after you and all the adventures and such we've had. Not to mention Reavers."

"And we'll be through more hopefully."

She smiled at him, beaming her delight.

"Kaylee, can we talk for a moment?"

"About what, Simon?"

"The future."

"Ok."

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Kaylee, will you marry me?"

She let out a ear-splitting squeal and jumped out of bed completely naked. "Ask me again!"

He laughed. "Marry me?"

She jumped back into the bed to plant kisses everywhere she could.

"Is that a yes?"

She answered without any words. 


	26. Fight V

Jayne was surrounded by silence as he made his way through Serenity- the only person awake on the vessel. Or so he thought. He heard sounds coming from in front of him going towards the cargo hold and was nearly there before he realized what it was. It was sounds of crazy.

He almost turned around once he figured out what was happening but the feng le girl turned her tear-stained face towards him and he was stuck. Rolling his eyes he went to where River was huddled and sat himself heavily across the small hall from her. And waited. He didn't have to wait long.

"Blue hands deceive. Hide in dark. Hide in ghosts. Make missing people whole." She grasped both sides of her head and pulled at her hair. "Non-stop noises. Never leave me be."

He reached out to stop her small hands. "Don't pull your hair out, girl. Then you'd have bald spots and no one will like ya."

"You don't like me anyway," she said but a corner of her mouth quirked up and he redoubled his effort.

"Like you enough for a crazy person."

"Not crazy. Just unwell."

He sat back against the wall once again. "What was this latest 'unwell' episode?"

She ran her nose across her arm and started to slowly get uncurled from her fetal position. "Dreams. Blue hands can't get awake so attack asleep."

"You know dreams are just make believe, right. Your own self-con..."

"Self-conscious," she supplied.

"Right. The blue hands can only get you in your dreams if you let them."

She looked at him with wide, shiny eyes, blinking slowly.

"Whatcha doin' in the hallway?" he asked.

"Went to find Simon but he was otherwise occupied. Memories resurfaced so sat down."

Jayne lifted an eyebrow. "So, the doc was..."

"With Kaylee. I didn't wish to disrupt them."

"They was sexin'? Would have been fun ta interrupt them."

She gave him a disapproving look. "Not coupling, Jayne, but not sleeping. Time for sister to outgrow ge ge."

"You tryin' to outgrow him in the hallway? Cargo area has more room."

River used the heel of her hands to wipe her eyes of tears. "Figuratively speaking."

"Don't you always?"

She shivered under his blue gaze as thoughts of her nightmare speared her mangled brain. She would be too keyed up to sleep anytime soon. "Let us fight," she said, decidedly, jumping to her feet, lithely.

"What?" He gave her a blank look as she extended her hand down.

"Fight. Go toe-to-toe. Practice maneuvers,"

"Fight?" He stood but studied her cautiously.

"I am in need of a diversion from sleep laced thoughts."

"You wanna spar?"

"Assuredly." She twirled around in a circle and then led him down to the cargo hold which enough room for their mock fight.

"'K, but there needs to be rules, Mooney," Jayne told her, nervously. "Like don't use no ball breakers or mind tricks."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Ball breakers"  
"Hey! You have a tendency ta grab parts don't need ta be grabbed like that."

"Agreed then." She took a band of rubber from around her wrist to put her hair back away from her eyes.

They circles each other before starting their mock fight. What River didn't have in brawn she had in deft speed so the two were surprisingly well matched. So matched, in fact, it took a misstep of Jayne's own foot to bring him down around thirty minutes after the fighting had started.

River took advantage of this and sat her slight frame down on his stomach, putting her hands on his to hole his grasp. "Yield."

Jayne did not but used his bulk to dislodge her and flipped them over, his body on hers. "Yield," he repeated with a smirk.

She struggled underneath him. "Release me."

"Yield," he said, grinning in her face.

Suddenly she grew still. "No. You."

"No." As suddenly as River grew still, he did as well, realizing how intimate their positions were. "Uh," he sputtered. "We should..."

Her hands flexed in his. "Should?" she questioned.

His eyes left her to flit to her lips as she licked them. "Should?" he repeated, losing his train of thought.

She grinned. "Why just think it."

"Think what?" he asked.

"A kiss."

"A kiss?"

She was able to get her hands free and placed then behind his head, pulling it down so their lips met.

It was a gently meeting, soft lips together before Jayne's mind took over and he broke away. "Witch," he hissed at her and went to move away.

"Jayne?" she asked, confused between his thoughts and his actions. The look in her soft doe eyes was the end of his restraint.

He kissed her thoroughly, increasing the pressure as his mouth coaxed her own to follow. She hadn't kissed much before and he could tell. A part in the back of his mind was glad he could school. her.

Finally, he ended the kiss and her eyes looked shiny and bright at him. "Guess I wanted ta do that."

"Since seeing me in my box?"

"Don't rightly recollect."

"Will you kiss me again?"

He got himself to his feet and gave her a hand in getting to hers. "Don't suppose it would hurt any more than that one did." He gave her a small kiss. And another. And then another.

He walked her down to her bedroom and kissed her goodnight, telling himself that would be the last but knowing it would not be. Not now he had gotten the taste of it. The taste for her. 


	27. Something is Happening

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**A/N: A warning that there will only be thirty chapters this muse is writing for me. The end is near...for this story.**

* * *

Something was happening on his ship. Mal could sense it but couldn't put his finger on it. Kaylee and Simon were all gooey eyed and it was strange that Simon and Jayne weren't snapping at each other. Jayne was being quiet and River wasn't being crazy. Something was definitely up.

Kaylee giggled before turning to face him and Inara. "We're getting married," she gushed and there was many squeals around the table. And hugging.

Jayne looked to Mal and rolled his eyes. "Women."

"I thought you liked women, Jayne," Mal teased.

Jayne's eyes flicked to the four women before looking back to his captain. "Just because I likes them don't mean I understand them." Jayne used the opportunity to steal some bread from River's plate.

* * *

"Something is happening," Mal told Inara.

"Yes," she told him. "A wedding. Are you going to marry them?"

"They haven't asked but I suspect I will."

Inara quirked an eyebrow. "Kaylee might want to be married with her family around."

"Hadn't thought about that."

"It's because you are male. You can't help it."

"There's something else, 'Nara."

"Perhaps love is in the air," she said with a smile.

"Don't say such things! That would mean Jayne and someone and I can't abide it."

"You aren't in love?" she teased.

"Don't be silly. The only person I love is myself."

Inara's smile grew bigger. "You do. You love your crew and your ship."

"Ok, I will give you that. But I still contend Jayne is up to something."

Inara laughed. "So, it went from broad range of things down to Jayne. Why Jayne?"

Mal played with a knick knack on her table. "Have you heard him complaining about getting to land?"

"No."

"About him wanting tail."

Again Inara had to say, "No."

"How about argue with the doc?"

"Ok, I admit he has been nice. But why stir the pot?"

"What gorram pot?" Mal wondered.

"The proverbial one you are mixing up by trying to find something wrong when there isn't."

"There is," he insisted. There was quiet before Mal opened his mouth. "I wanna tell ya, 'Nara, that I appreciate you. You know, for giving up your companionism for Serenity."

She gave him a beautiful smile. "I came back for you. For the others as well but mostly for you."

Mal gaped at her. "Me?"

"You've always known I like you even if I can't stand some of your actions."

"Wow, 'Nara. Well...I'm glad you are here," he spit out fast then made a hasty getaway, leaving Inara alone with her happiness.


	28. With this Ring

"Hey, Cap'n, got a minute?" Kaylee asked when she finally found the man alone.

"Surely. What can I do for you?"

She shifted from foot to foot. "Well, Simon and I was talking and, well..."

Mal grinned. "Spit it our, darling."

"We was wondering iffn you could, ya know, marry us all proper."

His grin grew bigger. "Of course, Kaylee. I'd be honored."

"See I was wondering if we could stop off at my home planet but it's so far away and I don't want to wait. So, maybe we could send the vid of our vows home. The preacher back there can get it to my folks."

"Sure, Kaylee. Whatever you want."

The dress Kaylee wore was the same color as her rosy cheeks. Inara had offered her a number of her clothes but in the end she chose her pink ruffled dress without some of the layers. Inara managed to get River and ZoК into some silky ensembles and brushed River's hair until it shined. The men dressed in their finest and there was appreciation of each other in the new digs.

Mal went straight to the point. "Simon, do you promises to hold her close to you or get shoved in the black for the rest of your days?"

Jayne snorted form his spot as best man.

"I do," Simon said, perplexed.

"Kaylee, will you promise to love the doc or push him in the black for his remaining days?"

"I do!" she beamed.

"Then by my power you are now wed. Kiss your bride, doc."

The festivities included music, strawberries, and much coveted sake. Jayne and Mal sat back drinking as they watched the happy couple glide on the floor while River twirled around them.

Inara walked up to them. "Mal, may I have this dance?"

Mal blamed the alcohol for his sudden flushing but obliged to keep the peace.

River twirled next to Jayne. "Dance?"

"Nope," he said, matter-of-factly. "Got two left feet and you dance too pretty for me to mess it up."

She gave him a happy smile and blew him a kiss before going back to dance. She was dancing for Jayne and it was the shiniest thing he had ever seen. 


	29. Help

**A/N: My ideas only.**

* * *

The crew hit the ship from a dead run. "Doc! Where's the gorram doctor?" Mal shouted, bringing Inara and Kaylee down to greet him.

"Mal, what's wrong?" Inara asked before she noticed the bundle in Jayne's arms and gasped. "My God, River! What happened?"

"Doc!" Jayne yelled, ignoring people as he took the stairs two at a time.

"Mal, what happened?" Inara asked as the crew followed the bellowing merc.

"A trap. It was a gorram trap. Don't know why she didn't read it."

Zoe picked up the tale. "By the time she did was we was ambushed and she was already shot."

Simon appeared ahead of them. "What is all the shouting?" He saw River's prone figure and went still before going into doctor mode. "Quickly. Let's put her in the infirmary. How long has she been bleeding?"

"'Bout five minutes," Jayne told him, placing the light girl gently in the empty chair. His clothes and hers were wet with her flowing blood. "I grabbed her soon as I noticed her hit. Got her back fast. She gonna be ok?"

Simon ignored the question as he cut River's shirt to look at the gunshot wound. "Jayne, get out. I don't need your help."

"I wanna stay."

The doctor looked at him sharply. "You'll be in the way here. Get out."

"No, Doc, see me and River--"

"Jayne Cobb," Mal called from out in the hall. "You heard the doc."

Simon realized Jayne had called his sister by her proper name around the same instant he heard her soft voice. Looking down he noticed Jayne holding River's hand unabashed, almost defiantly.

"Let him stay," she asked, her eyes opened a little, pain showing up as tears came into her gaze.

Simon tried not to panic as he studied the wound, a straight through and through but too close to an artery for him to not pray. "Sure, mei mei."

As Simon began his art Mal came in the room, took one look at the entwined hands and went off. "I knew it! It's your fault she was distracted."

Jayne frowned. "Already feel badly without you saying such, Cap'n."

"Get out of here this instant, Jayne, or so help me I'll put you out in the black so fast your little brain will explode."

Jayne looked like he was about to respond when "Wang ba dan!" was uttered by Simon. "Get out, both of you."

"Now, see here, Doc," Mal started but he was interrupted.

"Captain, this may well be your ship but it's my sister who's bleeding her life force out."

Jayne turned pale. "She dyin'?"

"Not if I can help it."

River tried to follow the conversation, tried to say it wasn't Jayne's fault, but she couldn't make the words come out. And it was getting harder to concentrate.

Her ge ge was talking. She could see his mouth moving but the words weren't finding their way to her ears. Even as she struggled to keep her eyes open her vision dimmed then she floated into the peaceful black.


	30. Epilogue

Her eyes opened in a snap and at first she couldn't focus- couldn't see where she was. It was dark, the lights on the lowest power without being completely out, The room looked vaguely familiar but her mind was murky so she was left feeling confused. Her struggling brought out a voice that filled her head.

"Subject Tam, River. Peace be with you. To struggle is pointless."

The voice, that same voice. River stopped fighting and realized where she was even as the lights were brought up and the door admitted two doctors.

"Not here. Not here," she mumbled as they reached their blue hands forward.

One stopped and studied her. "If not here then where?" he asked.

"Got away. Not here. Flying." She was frustrated by her confusion and lack of ability to form cognitive sentences. She had been free.

"Away? Doctor, she believes she escaped us." He looked amused.

"Indeed. Subject 24601, you've not left here since you came to us fifteen hundred and thirty two days ago."

"Serene," she said, suddenly unable to remember much. The needle in their blue hands offered to help dilute her mind further.

"Yes, the drugs will calm you," one lied, not bothering to hide that fact.

"Jayne," she whimpered as they got closer.

"There is no Jane here, Tam. You've had a dream, nothing more."

She tried to fight them but her hands were tied to the chair and the needle sliced through her skin to her inner being. "No!"

"Don't fight us. This is necessary for your training."

She sobbed as she felt her mind break once more under the care of the blue hands. Then in the back of her mind she heard some familiar words that were a ray of hope.

"This is River Tam, our most special pupil..."

* * *

**A/N: I know I am horrible. Don't worry- a new adventure is in the works.**


End file.
